Awakening Journey

Transforming Flames

Transforming Flames

To awaken
is to handle
the flames of
while remaining intact.

This blog is part of a February series run by Barb at the wonderful Me My Magnificent Self.

This series deals with people’s journeys of awakening. I have to admit, I think I am posting this a day late (sorry, Barbara! My husband had minor surgery yesterday, and I missed the note in my agenda to post this 😦 ).

I believe that to put energy towards our own awakening is the most profound act we can undertake in our lives.
Our individual awakening is the only route to the awakening of the world.
Awakening enables us to touch the power deep within us. No longer are we subject to the whims and of life in the same way.
WE can be put in the flames of transformation and still we will remain whole and centered, no longer separated into fragmented parts.

Upcoming postings include New Earth Paradigm and Meticulous Mick.

Gates of Awakening



Gates of awakening
taking vertebral form-
one by one we pass-
never understanding the next door-
until we are long past.

This is a funny little drawing.
I saw it, at first, as a series of vertebrae and ribs, and I pictured walking under these to get to the red “sun” at the front- the seat of enligthenment.

As we go through our stages of awakening, we are in a very symbolic sense building a new spine, or way of being. We pass through our stages, sometimes with ease, sometimes with a bit more unease than ease, and we begin to function and “be” at a different level than before.

We may think we can anticipate the next gate or door (I have been guilty of this 🙂 ) but the motto of awakening is this-
Awakening is the process of getting the blind to see.

Thus, the gates we pass through are often a surprise to us, as they should be. We can not see what we are blinded to, and it is upon the gate’s threshold that we make the choice- to see or remain hidden to the view we need the most- the one that is our own.

For some reason, I think so many are currently passing through some significant gates at this time. Don’t hesitate upon the threshold:)

Turning from Egoic Envy

Egoic Envy

Egoic Envy

In the course of awakening, the outer life
may appear unchanged-
but the Soul knows, as it turns from egoic envy
towards Light, every view changes.

I never know where my art will lead. In this image, a naked man sits, with a large phallic symbol to the left. He has turned this head, though to the other direction, seeking the Sun.

In some ways, the symbolism here is to have the phallus represent the ego. (Not implying, though, that men only are driven by the ego- although I do feel in our culture the phallus may be a very apt representation of ego.).

As I looked at this image, I was reminded of Susan Bordo’s book, The Male Body. I remember reading her section on the penis and how so many of the terms related to erection and sexual performance are unrelenting (my word). Phrases such as “rock hard”, etc- speaking to the utter sense of invincibility projected upon this very human organ.

We see this projection carried further into different venues. Men are often portrayed by Hollywood in one of two ways- as predators or heroes, who can not be destroyed.

I wonder how many of us, male or female, have falling for the egoic trap of always being “rock hard” and impervious to any wounding. Always thinking- bigger, better, harder is always necessarily better.

The image, though, shows the turning away from this projected, altered state of unreality into something more real and healthy.

The Tree of my Imaginings

Kundalini Tree

Kundalini Tree

How a tree appears to me-
Full of the Kundalini-
Strong and contained

I love trees and one message they always seem to convey is how to be strong in one’s self while being fully contained.
We don’t always need to run around with an output of energy in order to see ourselves as strong and valuable.
The tree stands with unending strength and no one ever doubts its power.

The Purpose of the Bowing Prayer or any Pose of Supplication

Bowing Prayer

Bowing Prayer

The purpose of the bowing prayer, or any pose of supplication- including many yoga positions-, is to release the head symbolically from the body, enabling the Spirit of the Soul to work upon the mind in freedom.

This is an image of a person in a bowing prayer position, in which the head symbolically ( and the mind, literally) has floated from the body and the bright colors are the energy of the Spirit working upon the mind.

If you do yoga or any type of prayer position, you will find this sense of freedom from the head’s weight is common.

You have to Know More in order to say “No More”

Know More

Know More

I liked this image and the play on words of the title “Know More” for me also carries the message of “No More”.
The image, again, began with one random line on the page. I then saw two closed eyes, but in the center, the energy of awakening the 3rd eye, the ajna chakra.

Within the past week, I have made the commitment to myself to stop telling lies to myself and others. I am not talking about little white lies, in which the sacred agreement is to avoid hurting another. I am talking about lies of substance that lead to veiled vision and denial.

The other evening my stepson was breaking down about school. And finally, I boldly told him, “I have always supported you in school, but I will not stand here and lie to you about your performances.” It was a transformative moment for him (and me). The party line before that was that we were to all lie to my stepson, including him to himself, so he would not feel “bad”.

And then on my birthday someone did something to me. I said to myself, “This is a fun game this person plays to love me and love me not in the same moment.”

That is a lie. It is not a “game”. It is not “fun”. It is not “love”. I am telling lies when I say otherwise in order to cover up my pain and my AWARENESS.

Finally, the other evening we were running very, very late for an obligation. I had to pick up my stepdaughter from the grocery store where she had met friends in the coffee shop. I pulled in to the parking lot. She was there with two friends right in front of me. I pulled into a spot and waited and waited, and finally had to get out of the car and yell, “Hey, get in the car”. She accused me of being mean, demanding, and that she was just telling her friends ‘Bye” and it only took 30 seconds.

That is all lie. It is not the time (30 seconds) which is the issue or what she was saying or not saying to her friends. Could be true or not.

The awakened truth is this- it was a “power play” on her part (typical of teenagers) in which she was showing me that she would come when she was ready- i.e. the energy was, “I have the power to make Kim wait”.

Normally, I would have lied to myself. Told myself I “overreacted” that she had “misunderstood” that she needed to get into the car and it “wasn’t that long” she was speaking to her friends. These would have all lies I told to myself for her. She did not even have to lie for herself.

Basically, my point is this-
When we see with our 3rd eye, we all know more than we realize. You know the truth. The question is are you willing to say “No more” to the lies?

Moving Beyond Opposites



The first phase of Man’s life is emergence from Woman.

The dark passage, as a means of evolution, remains a part of Him.

And Woman, as carrier of Man, is imprinted by His presence within Her.

Having carried Him, the Man is forever part of Her.

This image is obviously a play on male-female energy and the transmutation of these forces within each of us.
In some ways, we clearly label ourselves as one or the other, based primarily on biology.

Of course, there are those who sense the blurring of these lines and the continuum of male-female energy along the spectrum, rather than along punctuated points of either/or.

In certain traditions, the “overcoming” of such dualities is discussed, leading to a sense of union.

This is the typical play of opposites so eloquently and symbolically represented by the yin-yang symbol- in which black carries white and white carries black, only to move and evolve so black become white and white becomes black.

Note that the differences do NOT disappear. That is, black and white don’t merge into some gray color. The opposites remain, but they are contained in a tension that results in movement and evolution.

We are each called to be able to move towards this in our own lives.

Ideas such a “detachment” do not means that we feel nothing. We feel joy, we feel pain, we feel fear, we feel security. Each contains the opposite, and we must be able to hold both at the same time.

We can not know joy with out sadness. We can not know hope with out holding an understanding of hopelessness.

At the most basic level, the picture speaks to this. Every man is born of Woman. Her passage is His relation to the feminine that He will always carry with Him.

And She, likewise, will always know and relate to Him, as She has carried Him within Her and He will be Her connection to the masculine.

Despite being labeled as “opposites”, the two states are inseparable. They are forever linked.

As I have worked with the energy of opposites, the picture emerged.

I chose to show penis/testicles (maleness) emerging from the female vulva as a play on the idea of maleness normally penetrating the female.

If we look at it differently, we see that Man first emerges from Woman. His first act with Woman is thus the opposite of penetration. And the Woman rather than receiving the Man, in Her first act, releases Him.

I know this is another strange post. The art has garnered some comments from my husband such as, “Wow, I see you are in a phallic stage in your art now.”

And, I assume the because the pictures contain images of penises, my favorite comment from my husband, “So… Is this image about me?”

Who Let the Snake Out? … Overcoming the Fear of Change



Who let the snake out?

Snakes represent awakening and kundalini energy. They can also indicate our lowest natures.

In this picture, we see a stoic rabbit sitting and watching a display of power that we are not sure how it will end.

An egg is sitting in a chair, nice and comfy. However, the egg still does not feel secure. Attached to its head is an umbrella/parachute in case it were to fall. Will this really prevent the egg from cracking? Probably not, but the egg likes to believe in fantasy.

The egg can represent our fragile sense of self. We want to “crack our shells” and grow and change, but we are just not sure we want to fully commit to it. We want a parachute to catch us if we fall.

Life, though, has other plans.

Even if we are symoblically ensconced in a comfortable chair, our awakening (the snake) will find a way to emerge.

Our awakening may crawl out from under the chair, much to the surprise of everyone.

And once the snake emerges, once you begin changing your life, there is no putting the snake back in its place.

The rabbit in the image represents overcoming our fear of change. According to Jamie Sams in Medicine Cards, the rabbit symbolically represents fear.

(When I did a card spread with these cards, I came up with my central power animal totem and the rabbit was what I selected. I was so excited! I had images of abundance and fertility dancing in my head. Imagine my surprise when I read the rabbit represents “fear”. Lovely- my central power animal symbolizes “Fear”. I had imagined something more formidable. 🙂 )

But to exist in the face of fear is one of our greatest powers, isn’t it? The rabbit shows you can be afraid, you can be fear, and still you will survive.

In the image, the rabbit should be fleeing the snake. Instead, the rabbit holds its ground (something rabbits will do- they will completely freeze when threatened). Without movement, they are hoping to remain undetected.

So, let the snake of awakening emerge in your life. Be the rabbit-seeing it all and remaining still, observing the changes.

You may feel fear, but don’t allow it to push you to flee. Stand your ground, be immovable for a bit, and allow the snake of awakening to move along its way.

Okay, this was a funny picture to emerge and develop. Who knows what it all means? This is just one interpretation that came to me. Obviously, the picture in some ways got away from me. I don’t think anyone would sketch this out with intent 🙂

Protecting Your Sacred Value



My stepson has been all over my art as of late, in both the literal and metaphorical sense.

I initially sketched out this bear picture. Later, I came back and saw a paw-shaped addition near the bear. I asked my stepson if he had added it. At first, he said, “No” and then, “Well, maybe, maybe I walked past it and it smudged, and it smudged into a shape of a paw. Maybe…” 🙂 I kept it in place to honor him.

My stepson has never been a confident child and his insecurities only seem to grow as he is almost ready to enter puberty ( a time of massive transformation and awakening).

I did not begin this picture for him, yet his energy pervades.

The image speaks of awakening (the flying snake) and the confidence required to embrace our awakening.

For strength, I used solar symbols (the yellow sun and solar-shaped and colored eyes of the bear). Solar energy speaks to hope, movement, and evolution.

I see so many living their lives in accordance to solar energy. But the thing that happens as we change and evolve, because it is all so “new”, is that we can feel as if we are vulnerable and don’t quite know what to do.

The energy of awakening, the dropping of lies, the speaking of our own truths, the embracing of our own bodies, minds, and spirits can be at both once exhilarating and terrifying.

As we each contain everything, the picture speaks to finding the protective energy within you.

You are not as vulnerable or alone as you may imagine yourself to be.

Within each of us is the a protective Mama Bear (one of the most potent symbols I know of protection- if you have ever witnessed – from a far, far distance I hope- a Mama Bear protecting her cub).

A Mama Bear does not care if she protects her cub in the “right” manner. Nor does she care if she is “too aggressive” or “overpowering” or “awkward” or “threatening.”. She does not think any of these things, because she firmly believes in her one focus- to protect that which is of sacred value to her.

I hope you feel the same in your life as you awaken and emerge into a new way of Being.

Don’t allow yourself to feel too overexposed. IF you are saying and doing things you have never done before, well, then, ask and call up the Protector energy within you.

Believe in your own awakening and your ability to handle whatever may emerge. You are protected.