Gates of Awakening



Gates of awakening
taking vertebral form-
one by one we pass-
never understanding the next door-
until we are long past.

This is a funny little drawing.
I saw it, at first, as a series of vertebrae and ribs, and I pictured walking under these to get to the red “sun” at the front- the seat of enligthenment.

As we go through our stages of awakening, we are in a very symbolic sense building a new spine, or way of being. We pass through our stages, sometimes with ease, sometimes with a bit more unease than ease, and we begin to function and “be” at a different level than before.

We may think we can anticipate the next gate or door (I have been guilty of this 🙂 ) but the motto of awakening is this-
Awakening is the process of getting the blind to see.

Thus, the gates we pass through are often a surprise to us, as they should be. We can not see what we are blinded to, and it is upon the gate’s threshold that we make the choice- to see or remain hidden to the view we need the most- the one that is our own.

For some reason, I think so many are currently passing through some significant gates at this time. Don’t hesitate upon the threshold:)

Holy Water



Limb-less I am the silent witness to water wearing away
stone and I can not alter its course,
as it is the work of Holiness.

Sometimes I fall prey to wishful, ridiculous thinking.
This image is a reminder to me that it is not my will (nor my duty) but the work of Holiness that may wear away stone.

Penetrate Me…

Penetrate Me

Penetrate Me

Maybe we don’t need to worry quite so much. Maybe, each in his own way is growing towards the light. Maybe our souls are the spiritual version of the plant phototropism- the ability to grow towards light.

Place a light behind, below, above, to the right, to the left of a plant and still it will find the light and bends towards it.

I like to think that is what we are all doing. Even on the days in which every movement seems ass backwards, I like to imagine we are like the plant, and even if we have to twist and turn our way around, our souls will find that light once again.

The art and title is a play on the interplay between sexual energy and awakening awareness. Most would say that kundalini awakening and sexual energy can not be separated as they emanate from the same creative force. This may be one reason that religions, in general, have had such a difficult time “handling” human sexuality. Religions walk a very fine line of engaging and encouraging spiritual awakening, while trying to suppress the sexual. This is almost impossible, as the two forces are intertwined, as both center on creativity.

Anyway, the art is a play on this. I imagine growing towards the light, while It (or is it me, asking It?) calls to be penetrated. Obviously, manifesting the desire of union of the individual consciousness with the Divine. The penetrative act so tightly coiled with the act of creation.

You May Be only One, But Your Awakening May Save the World

…so don’t give up.



One’s awakening does not need to enact on the world stage to be an agent of transformation. We all may not reach the Jesus or Buddha-state.

But this does not mean our work and efforts for our own increasing is awareness are for nothing. Such work literally save the world from further chaos, anger, and confusion – every single day.

Any and all changes we induce first enact on the stage of our own personal worlds. Our families, our coworkers, our spouses, our neighbors all benefit as we walk the path of awareness.

We can literally change our world, but we must start with ourselves.

There is no magic ticket. There is not easier way. There is not short cut. And that is how is shall come to pass.

You do the work, and you save the world.

when I stared the picture above, I was not sure what it was to be. As I was drawing the “tail” portion at the bottom, I realized it was the tail end of the spinal cord. (The “conus medullaris”- the spinal cord does taper like this as it enters the lumbar vertebrae). This is where kundalini energy sits.

The big ball in the center is the “All” – the all of you, the all of me. We reach out to grow. The red and blue represent the nadis on the side of the spinal cord- ida and pingala, in which the kundalini energy will rise. These channels must open for awareness to awaken.

The Most Simple Prayer for Peace



Upon going to bed last evening, I asked God for one thing. What is the most simple prayer for peace? And this is what became:

You always have a choice.

Unless we are children or in some extreme situation, we always have a choice. The choice is the gift. We can choose to stay, to leave, to continue on, to quit, to fight, to flee, to create, to destroy. All that matters is that we have the choice.

The world is not so simply divided into can and can not/ should and should not/ must and must not. We create these parameters and bind ourselves in the process, thinking we have no choice.

But the gift is to realize that in all matters, we do have a choice. And in acknowledging we have a choice, we can come to choose that which will become part of our lives.

Even in Your Darkest Times, A Part of You Waits to Bloom

A Bit of Darkness

A Bit of Darkness

Into every life, a little darkness must fall.

Sunlight gives energy to plants, but it is during the dark, silent night that the plant transforms the energetic gift to further life.

Who knows if the flower reaching for the night sky is aware of its beauty before it blooms? Does it know as it reaches to heaven the blossom that looms, tucked tightly within it?

Is it within the dark, quiet night, free from the hot, sticky sun, that the flower begins to unfurl? Trying out its beauty in dark before unleashing it to the sighted world?

What must transpire for this blossoming? What internal ticking clock counts time on a different scale than in minutes and awakens the flowering spirit?

Who really knows. But within the darkest times of our lives, those times without a hint of moonlight, growth is occurring and we, like the flower, are waiting to bloom. Maybe the dark nights of our lives provide the signal for the internal clock allowing the blossoming of our spirit.

Or maybe it is in the darkness, sometimes free from hope and expectation, that our true nature first unfurls.

If I can do one thing today, let the one thing be this…

Let Me Hold You

Let Me Hold You

If I can do anything, let me hold that one moment when I came to understand it all.

Let me hold the moment when I knew most who I was and believed I was nothing less.

Let me hold the moment when I knew I was love.

Let me hold the moment when I knew I was loved.

Let me hold the moment when I knew my power.

Let me hold the moment when I knew how to produce.

Let me hold the moment when I knew my place in the world was not a question, but an answer.

Let me hold the moment when I first knew that I mattered.

Let me hold the moment when I knew I was not here by mistake or by chance.

Let me hold the moment when I first knew the touch of grace.

Let me hold the moment when I knew grace must be returned freely to others.

And let me hold the moment and let me remember you and let me remember me…when I first came to believe…

A Woman, An Anniversary, and A Gift with a Story to Tell

A good gift allows everyone to benefit.
Some gifts just keep on giving. I was the recipient of such a gift this weekend.

My husband took me shopping for a gift for our wedding anniversary. I had something chosen in mind before we left, but received something of much greater value.
Below is a picture of the gift he gave me- on the physical level. It is beautiful in its own right and speaks of our love.
On the spiritual level, the gift is much more profound.


What this gift gave me and what I hope to pass on to you is the faith and belief that you are always supported as you seek the Highest Good for yourself and everyone in your life.

I am familiar with AA through those I love, and something I have come to realize that AA does very well is it helps the participants embrace their changing lives on both the physical and spiritual levels.

Many internal changes, of course, happen within AA and similar groups. What is key, though, is that these changes are solidified and acknowledged physically by certain rituals. Participants receive coins, anniversary chips, etc. It may sound corny, but when you are undergoing a great deal of change, it can be difficult to feel confident.

You are not who you were before; yet your newly formed sense of self is a little shaky. Signs of support can make all the difference in you continuing on the path.

That is what this gift of the necklace did for me. The image of simple hearts has been in my art work for at least a year now. This year has been one of upheaval and disturbance as the old stories of my life have fallen away. Left in the wake of this dismantling has been the creation of time and space to reflect.

And there have been times, when I wanted to stop the process. In my weaker, more self-pitying moments, I did not think my personal growth was worth the price of confusion, tears, and quite honestly, work.

But that sense of love and heart never left me and I continued on my way.

The necklace with its simple heart spoke to me. It was the sign I needed that my personal work was supported.

And I wonder how many on their own personal journeys receive similar signs. I think we seek these signs on the subconscious level, so challenging can true personal growth be, we need some assurance that our internal work is integrated on the broader, external level.

I am here to tell you that it is, it is.

If you are in the midst of changing your life and becoming what your heart desires, please believe that you are supported. Take a moment and look for signs of support that you are being given. If you feel you can’t find any, ask and pray for one and then look again. It could be in the form of a perfect book, a quote that resonates, a powerful dream, a pattern of flowers, cloud shape in the sky- anything that may serve as a symbol to you.

Use it for motivation and strength. Like the person in AA who may carry the coin in his or her pocket as a reminder of his or her significant commitment to a better life, place your symbol near you physically or hold it within your heart- to remind you that you truly are worthy of change for the better.

When the Relationship Most Changed is the One with Yourself


One woman left for a trip. Another woman returned.

I spent the past 12 days traveling with my husband, stepchildren, and his extended family throughout Florida. We were quite the group of 16 individuals. I went into this trip as “wife” and “stepmom” and received little support for either of those roles.
I was suddenly – “object”- within the lives of others. A handy traveling companion while the needs of my family were met by Disney and others.

And I realized something on this trip- Don’t ever stop growing and changing in order to serve the base needs of others.

In books of personal growth, you will often read that something along these lines – “as you work on yourself and change your life, your relationships will change”. This trip was living proof to me.

Normally, treated as I was, I would have shut down. My motto would have been “As long as everyone else is happy, I am o.k.”.
But not this time and not this trip. I fought for myself.

We can fool ourselves on our journey to self-awareness. So caught up we may be in the ideals of “love and light”. Living in the ideal, we lose sight of the real. We would all love to check out and live in simple spiritual truths. The bottom line is that we are physical beings and our place in this world matters.

I would have buried my own needs in order to “live in peace and harmony” with others. Heaven forbid, I ever make(?) someone feel bad or guilty for what they had done to me. But my growth is calling me to a different place- a place in which I love and value myself, and subsequently, a place in which I will stand up for myself.

I do not suppress this need to grow in this way any longer, in order to “spare” the feelings of others. I am never harsh or mean, but I am authentic when I now understand my own sense of well-being matters as much as everyone else’s.

On this trip, perhaps the relationship that changed the most was the one I have with myself.