Sense of Self

Your Sense of Self

Your Sense of Self


You accept a thousand and one small deaths,
so you may learn what it is to be reborn.

—-
Throughout our lives, we construct a sense of self. Sometimes, this is effortless and in alignment. Other times, we die a small death as a perceived part of self or a dream is left unformed.
Our small deaths refine what we are- and through them we are reborn. We would not understand what is it to be reborn without experiencing it ourselves. This is one of our routes to potential within God.

The art piece has a little yellow circle in it- speaking of the third, or manipura, chakra- the sense of self.

You have to Know More in order to say “No More”

Know More

Know More

I liked this image and the play on words of the title “Know More” for me also carries the message of “No More”.
The image, again, began with one random line on the page. I then saw two closed eyes, but in the center, the energy of awakening the 3rd eye, the ajna chakra.

Within the past week, I have made the commitment to myself to stop telling lies to myself and others. I am not talking about little white lies, in which the sacred agreement is to avoid hurting another. I am talking about lies of substance that lead to veiled vision and denial.

The other evening my stepson was breaking down about school. And finally, I boldly told him, “I have always supported you in school, but I will not stand here and lie to you about your performances.” It was a transformative moment for him (and me). The party line before that was that we were to all lie to my stepson, including him to himself, so he would not feel “bad”.

And then on my birthday someone did something to me. I said to myself, “This is a fun game this person plays to love me and love me not in the same moment.”

That is a lie. It is not a “game”. It is not “fun”. It is not “love”. I am telling lies when I say otherwise in order to cover up my pain and my AWARENESS.

Finally, the other evening we were running very, very late for an obligation. I had to pick up my stepdaughter from the grocery store where she had met friends in the coffee shop. I pulled in to the parking lot. She was there with two friends right in front of me. I pulled into a spot and waited and waited, and finally had to get out of the car and yell, “Hey, get in the car”. She accused me of being mean, demanding, and that she was just telling her friends ‘Bye” and it only took 30 seconds.

That is all lie. It is not the time (30 seconds) which is the issue or what she was saying or not saying to her friends. Could be true or not.

The awakened truth is this- it was a “power play” on her part (typical of teenagers) in which she was showing me that she would come when she was ready- i.e. the energy was, “I have the power to make Kim wait”.

Normally, I would have lied to myself. Told myself I “overreacted” that she had “misunderstood” that she needed to get into the car and it “wasn’t that long” she was speaking to her friends. These would have all lies I told to myself for her. She did not even have to lie for herself.

Basically, my point is this-
When we see with our 3rd eye, we all know more than we realize. You know the truth. The question is are you willing to say “No more” to the lies?

Where you are Wounded, You will find the energy to Heal

Each, It's Opposite

Each, It’s Opposite

Each thing in this life contains its opposite.

Thus, where you are most injured and hurt, you contain the equal, proportional energy to heal.

You must, if possible, be able to see beyond the wound into the healing energy contained within it.

And if you need an image to help you with this, think of the yin-yang symbol. The black contains the white, the white contains the black and these will shift and emerge until their positions are reversed, reminding us that no entity exists only in the stable, surface manner that we first perceive.

Each contains its opposite.

You can heal where you are most wounded, for the energy of healing is already present with this wound.

—–

I recently experienced this in a Reiki appointment I had. I had never met this therapist. After 90 minutes, she said to me, “I was constantly drawn to your throat chakra. What are you not saying that should be said?”

I shut my throat chakra long, long ago. It tends to be a requirement for abuse survivors. ALL abuse requires the keeping of secrets, so the throat chakra closes.

She also said to me, “But your pelvic area, it is so open and on fire. I wanted to ask you several times if you were pregnant.”

I told her I was not pregnant but did kundalini yoga. She simply smiled and said, “That explains it! But I really worry about your throat area.”

Since then, I have focused on the throat chakra. And it has begun to open. In a frightening way. (Those with closed throat chakras often keep them closed out of fear. They worry they may say or do something that may hurt another or reveal a “secret”. )

Let me tell you on a particular night in which the ex-wife pushed one too many times. I opened my throat chakra and let it rip (not at her, she is not worth the time) but I let out my feelings. ANd it was one of the most beautiful/ugly things I had witnessed in some time.

Swear words came out of my mouth that I did not know I knew and the creative way they were strung together was both alarming and admirable. At the end of it, as the words hung in the air, and I could feel the air rush past my open throat, I knew I was alive and I was o.k.

I said what I felt and this is key —NO ONE DIED. I shut my throat down years ago out of fear of what may happen if I really said what I felt. No more.

Where I have been wounded, I have the power to heal.

Healing Snake

Healing Snake

I did this picture years ago. It’s called “Healing Snake”. what I love after my recent experience is the energy in the “pelvic” region and the energy in the “throat” region.

Where you are wounded, the energy to heal is also present.

The Blog that Holds the Standard

The Third Chakra Says it All

The Third Chakra Says it All

I converse with my blog all the time-both in written and telepathic form.
And I wonder if my blog has created a form of my higher self.

Let’s admit it- what one will say in an off-hand conversation with a friend is most likely quite different than what one is willing to write and publish. No one likes to read rambling manifestos, and quite honestly they are not that fun to write, because they lack insight.

What drives the writing of so many is the tone, the nuance, the stringing together of words and ideas in poetic form. Touching the heart, the mind, the soul, the spirit with the right word or two. Whether your blog is meant to be inspirational or not, it most definitely (if you are honest enough to admit it) holds you to a standard.

Word choice, topic choice- what do you really want to say? What do you really want to reveal?

I bet, if you are like me, your blog has transformed you. It has helped you believe in yourself in a way that few other things could. I don’t care if you have 10,000 readers or 10 readers, the work is the same.

You create to become you and what emerges upon that electronic “page” is that beautiful part of you that is clamoring to be heard by the most important audience of all- You.

Your blog holds a standard- the standard of what you are to become.


The piece of art deals with the third chakra- the seat of the self. I like the rectangular shape I drew in the center because it is grounding.

And this is how you came into Being…

Infinity

Infinity

When I look at you, I only see-

the juncture at which the infinite became the physical.

Because that is what you are to me-

Divinity, as infinity, bound in human form.

—-
I like to ask myself sometimes- what do I really see in people? And I think, if I strip it all away, what would remain?

I see 7 beautiful, strong chakras of energy supported by the energy of infinity. And I think, ah, yes, now I know truly what is in the human form.

Divinity, as infinity, came to play in the form of the physical and ended up creating You. And never again will such a unique combination manifest.

For you are the only You and the universe is forever blessed.

Do You Really Need to Be “Everything” to Everyone in Your Life…?

Your Heart

Your Heart

The sane answer is “No”.
The compulsive answer many of us operate under is a resounding “Yes”.

We try to do it all and in the end, we risk losing ourselves.

In many ways, the fantasy we operate under is that if we are “everything” to everyone in our lives, we will then be indispensable and we will be valued for our contributions.

Our value, though, does not reside in living the belief that we must be the “end all, be all” as mother, father, colleague, employer, employee, daughter, son, spouse, and so on.

In doing so, we actually work against the nature of ourselves and life itself. Yes, we are called to be the best we can be, but this applies to everyone.

You can not solve the world’s problems until you are able to take care of yourself and you can not take care of your self if you are driven, compulsively, to meet the needs of everyone around you before even considering yourself.

You do not need to be everything to everyone. Life does require you, though, to move to a place in which you can be everything to yourself.

—Picture—
I like the picture I created above. It came as a surprise. I had pictured the orange wave in the corner, but nothing else.

I drew the orange wave, and then saw the shape of the heart underneath. I next drew with the blue pastel and thought it looked like the chest of a person.

Here is what I take from it: Orange represents the second chakra- sexuality and relationships with others. Look how the energy is moving upwards from the pelvis to support the heart. The heart is in yellow- the color of the third chakra and our sense of self.

I love to see how the energy of relationships is working with my heart and my relationship with myself.

A Woman Overcomes Fear

Transforming Fear

Transforming Fear

A woman once gave up fear. Cold turkey. The parting treacherous, stalling, shaded with unevenness. She has decided to part ways with her lifelong companion. The trap of familiarity became both lock and key. You see, fear had accompanied her – forever. Dogging her steps. What she saw as hopes and dreams, fear metabolized to inertia and hesitancy. Parasitism came to mind. Crafted attention, diligent care had kept this fear alive. Without her trust and commitment, fear would not survive.

Fear’s sweet, sensual whisper arose within her, from the base of her spine, clicking by vertebrae one by one as it settled in her mind. But, this time she knew.

Fear whispered, “But, I kept you alive.” Yet, she had become wiser in her ways. Crafty, even. Fear had taught her well. She now understood fear needed her, much more than she ever needed it.

The picture above shows the transformation of fear. The kidneys often hang onto the energy of fear, and water is associated with the kidneys. At the bottom of picture, lies the water of the kidneys. It is pulled upwards into spirals, indicating transformation. The triangles in the center represent the spine as this energy arises. The circles move along the spine, showing the energy is not quite centered until the it reaches the top. The red triangles pointing downwards at the top of the picture represent Divine energy coming down to assist on the physical plane (the color red, first chakra).

If you ever feel fear, place a hand on your kidneys. It will help.

The Courage to do Better

In the course of our lives, we choose who we become.  Some days we may look upon ourselves as glorious creations, other days, we feel a bit more hit or miss with the process.  When we grow, some things fall away.   What we once were no longer serves.  I posted a blog earlier today which I have since deleted.  What I wrote was truthful but, to be honest, carried  a message of hurt and anger.  The feeling and emotions are valid, but  I did not want to leave for this holiday weekend with such a posting.  Sometimes we all need better in our lives.  We can live in the pain and confusion or we can move on from it.  I am certain in the future, I will again confront the frustration and angst of my current family dynamics, but not today.  Today I want more.  I want to focus on the following…

Transformation

To Become      

             To Be One’s Own

To Move Beyond  

            Faltering  Hesitation

Looking back with cold calculation

 To Transcend 

           To Move Up

Dreams   Nights   Myths

Fantasies  Of My Own

  To re-write Labeled falsehoods

            Left  Alone

Green is the color of the heart chakra and I feel my heart transformed the message I wanted to leave with today.  We see the power of the heart pushing through the red and orange, the first and second chakras, the energies of the physical plane and sexuality.

The snake in the picture represents kundalini energy, the energy of awakening.  Sometimes as we awaken and become aware, we feel embodied by a power and energy much greater than us.  We are ensconced in the birth canal.  The rugae and folds of the symbolic vagina compress upon us, and we wonder how we will emerge.  We gather our strength and push through the passageway- new, even to ourselves.