A common Error…We know the Truth and then Spend Hours on the Lies

I See My Own Truth

I See My Own Truth


I don’t know your view of Heaven. I am not even sure I know my own. But, I frequently make the joke that in Heaven, if one’s life is laid before one’s self, I never want to see an accounting of all the money I have spent on Diet Coke.

A very small issue, I know, but I am sure I would be appalled at the income I have given to vending machines and convenience stores throughout my time to purchase this beverage with absolutely no nutritional value.

Along the same vein, but on a more serious note, is an epiphany I had recently- how much time I have spent on the lies of others.

The Truth simply is. We do not need to defend it, color it, attempt to hide it, reveal it, or modify it in any way. The Truth can stand on its own.

I know this, but I now also know how many literal hours I have spent on the lies of others.

My best example of this is my role as stepmother. For at least 2 years, lies were told about me. The lies included what a mean person I was, how the kids hated me, how the kids were fearful of me, how no one could ever like me, etc.

You know, I did not buy into these lies. But, I did make a fatal mistake. I tried to convince others who were telling these lies that their lies were not the truth.

I wasted hours on my scheme of conviction. I came up with examples, explanations, scenarios, dramatic re-enactments all to show them the truth – which was simply this- I am a loving stepmom. I make mistakes, of course, but making a mistake does not indicate a lack of love.

Whenever you are caught in a situation of lies, please don’t make the mistake I did. Stand your ground, for sure, but trust in the Truth. The Truth is there, whether others can see it or not.

If others are hell-bent on telling lies about you, because of their own weakness, delusions, or insanity, you do not have to spend hours trying to change their views (because most likely they will not change them anyway).

An important point to note, the person telling the lies is very, very invested in these lies. They will expend an inordinate amount of time defending, harassing, demanding of others all to get support for their lies.

Why? Do they think they are they right? May be, may be not.

The fact is they must spend so much time, energy and engagement on the lie, because the lie is NOT the Truth. A lie can never stand on its own. It must be fed, cared for, and paid the utmost attention, because it is not real. Without this time and energy invested, the lie falls apart, a deflated projection, prostrating its self before the Truth.

When we try to counteract these lies, we are actually playing into the hands of the liars. We are giving time and energy to things which are not even real.

I read many blogs about abusers, sociopaths, and narcissists. They are the ultimate liars and we have spent too much time on their acts of ridiculousness and their absurd lies.

Know yourself and Know your Truth. Trust that who and what you are can stand on its Own. You do not need to waste hours of time counteracting the insanity of others.

Your time and energy are needed elsewhere- loving your life and all the blessings you have been given. Let others live in the darkness of their lies, knowing your Truth and its light prevents such darkness from remaining in your Life.

7 thoughts on “A common Error…We know the Truth and then Spend Hours on the Lies

  1. Amen, Sister! I always comment to my friend Sofia Leo that if all the talents and energies of all the oppressed women were unleashed in this country, we could get some stuff done!!!!!!

  2. Hi, I found your site through sociopathlife.com. To me, your art and words are beautiful. I felt compelled to respond on this post as I am now in a position that the legal system has worked against my fight to make the sociopath accountable. I am deeply saddened but I do know the truth, my truth, is real. In the near future I hope I
    can let go and walk away and stop engaging in the madness by trying to reveal the darkness. Thank youfor your blog.

    • I feel for you. To be in the legal system because of a sociopath can be at once so terrifying and exhausting. You may feel as if you never know what to expect next. IN your heart you know what is “right”, but there is always the fear at how it all may play out. I am so very glad my blog has helped in some way. Those of us interacting the narcissists/sociopaths must continue to communicate and share with one another. Through each other, we can create a vocabulary and awareness that only comes form experience. Please take care of yourself.

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