The “Loss” provides the Gain

Jonah

I have not blogged in several days, as we have had wonderful guests staying with us. I got to spend 5 days with my family including my 5-year-old nephew who is so beautiful and adorable (and did I say he is also super smart 🙂 ).

I realized something during this time. I felt as if I had lost my mirror. I could not do art, as we were too busy, and my studio is in an area near our guest room.

I could not grasp the link so commonly used by me to not only know myself, but to see myself.

In the world of an artist, the making of art is the ever present grounding force. It is the conversation with the Heavens beyond all temporal/spatial limitations.

The art is the movie we comprise from the snapshots of moments. The art is the storyteller in which we recognize our selves.

During this time, I felt I lost a bit of me. It seems silly and self-serving to write this, as if not being able to do some art for 5 days is a burden. It is not.

But, sometimes meaning is most found in the absence of something. The “lack” provides the space for awareness.

And we are blessed with a recognition that never would have been present with continued presence.

I think this is very true in many aspects of life. The “loss” of something is actually the gaining of space to believe and understand.

I look forward to returning to my art (and me) in the coming days.

I wonder how many of you have also had this experience. The “loss” providing the space for growing awareness.

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Would you Even Recognize Your Own Reflection?

Reflection

Lately I have been doing a lot of “automatic” drawing. I start with one pastel and a large sheet of paper and begin drawing and working with what emerges.

I drew two circles on this one and then some other lines. Suddenly, I saw the eyes of two fish staring at one another. Surrounding this became, somewhat, the image of an owl. So the eyes of the fish are also the eyes of the owl.

I liked the idea of these two fish looking at each other, seeing their reflection contained in the wisdom of the owl.

I wonder how accurately we would recognize our own reflection in the world if we were confronted with it. Of course, I do not mean one’s physical reflection only. What if we were confronted with a reflection of our energy and way of Being in this world?

Would we even recognize ourselves?

Part of me worries that we would not. So many work so diligently to be aware, to put out “good” energy of a high vibration, yet internally still feel “low” and “unworthy”.

I wish these individuals could for one minute see the reflection of their own True Beauty in this world.

Artists and writers, to me, constantly engage with this reflective energy. Perhaps that is why so many of us are drawn to these acts. We come to see our own reflections more accurately and thus, begin to know our selves more deeply.
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Two fishes are a common symbol for the sign of Pisces, but usually the fish are facing in opposite directions.

There is an African creation myth in which two seeds in the cosmos birthed two fish beginning the act of creation and a new state of awareness.

And, of course, twin symbolism is often associated with creation and evolution of the self, perfectly balanced.

All Writers are Readers…

Reader

…of the Stars.

I like this little image. I believe it is what we do as artists and writers.

Lizards are often symbolic of dreams and transformation.

I believe writers pull our dreams from the stars and place them in the physical world.

The image can also be looked at that our writing influences the stars our lives. There is an interplay at work between the mind, our words, and our fates.

The “tail” of the lizard is the chakras, indicating this work requires the synthesis of every aspect of our Beings.

The strange part of this piece is when I drew the Lizard, I put a sailor type hat on him. I did not question putting a hat on the Lizard – this apparently seemed “normal” to me. HOwever, I could not figure out why it had to be a sailor hat.

Then, I realized the Lizard was to be sitting in water- the stream of consciousness in which all writers engage.

I like to envision this is what we do as writers. We travel in our dreams and the stream of consciousness, using our scope to view and see the world in a way unique to us.

We live the words “Written in the stars”.

How Writers Fight Back

This is just a little comment that I have noticed about myself and I am wondering if other writers do the same.

What I have noticed is this-

When I am really pushed, when I am flat out angry, mad, threatened, and wanting to protect myself- want to know what I do?

I write a note.

Yes. The other night, something stressful happened and my first response was to write a note and put in on our microwave door.

When our dog was attacked, first step after calling the police/vet, was to stick a note on the dog owner’s fence. That will teach them!

When my students really are not meeting expectations, oh, I sit down and begin to type some inspiration for them.

I have scribed eloquent statements. I have created simple list of words. I have issued directives. I have used exclamation points- a lot. (Seriously, to a writer – does anything say “Power” like exclamation points all in a row. An symbolic army all lined-up at my command.)

As I look at this activity from a distance, I have no idea what I am hoping to accomplish, as many never even see these notes. But, as a writer, it seems to be my stress response.

If I don’t know what to do, if I can’t say, well, then, I will write it!

Does anyone else do this?

The Injured Writer Returns

Big Shoes

So the other day I was doing something and ended up injuring my shoulder. I am not sure what did it exactly. But I am finding out that some of the workout activities I participate in should be labeled as “Things that were Appropriate before Age 40”, otherwise known as, “Things that should Never be Tried Again”.

Anyway, I tweaked my shoulder and impinged a nerve. After a few days in sling, we are on the way to mending. I could not type during that time, so if I have not commented on some of your awesome blogs for a bit, that is why.

During this downtime, I had some interesting opportunities presented to me- one of them being a new position at work.

Injuries and illness are wonderful times for self-reflection. I am not even being sarcastic as I write that. THere is something about the slowing down that injuries/illness impose upon us that cause us to see things for a different perspective.

Decisions had to be made during this time and I made them. I turned my back on one path for now, and chose another. And it made me think of the picture on top.

We all walk our own paths and sometimes we have big dreams we want to fulfill. I see this picture and I think to myself, “If you want to walk a big path, well then, you are going to need big shoes.”

None of us ever know how our decisions will turn out. But I think in each of us, there is a place that longs to grow and dream and achieve.

We many not fill out our big shoes yet, but we need to trust, we will grow into them.

Does Blogging make You Smarter?

God’s Vision

Yes, yes, yes!

I believe we all walk our paths in life but none of us are above needing a helping hand in our travels.

As I have read comments, the trail of insightful “crumbs” so many of you leave for me on this blog, I am at once touched and humbled.

And I wonder, how is it you see me so well through a few paragraphs? How did you get so smart?

And I wonder further, as we have discussed that writing is so helpful to healing the mind and helping one gain new insights and awarenesses, that if the solitude and concentration required to read someone’s blog does not lead to the same leaps in awareness and integration. And in doing so, makes us all a bit “smarter”.

For so many of the comments I have received demonstrate a level and depth of understanding about me and some situational dynamics in my life that I would argue those I see in my personal life on a regular basis would struggle to attain.

Is it something about having to actually read the words that we finally understand another? Is there something about not sitting across someone, thinking of one’s return comment, that allows everything to be heard?

Does the act of reading and interpreting bind our brains in a different way than simply speaking? And in this binding of the brain, do new connections form and our ability to assess and interpret grow with it?

Writing, reading, listening, interpreting, assessing, understanding our own lives and the lives of others. Words spiraling on the page-given and received.

And in the spiraling revolution, I truly believe we do become a bit smarter along the way.

I

Shattered- Blogging What you Need to Hear

View from Above

What happened to me and my intact self?
I believed I was indestructible, and now I see pieces of me rolling on the floor.

I count them- the pieces-to reassure myself.
To my delight, nothing has been lost.

Perched on my post of awareness
I see my pieces are simply seeking a new arrangement.

I almost pray in tears having to trust in the between
state of being taken apart and being put back together with Heart.

That I, unlike Humpty Dumpty, and without those helpful King’s men,
will be put back together again.

—–
There are times in each of our lives that despite the best preparation, the most awesome awareness, the most insightful insights, we feel a bit torn apart by situations. We lose our balance and almost stumble, reaching for something solid within our psyche to give us encouragement and heart.

We do not even know what to say to ourselves to keep going. And this is where blogging can come in. We are stronger than any situational limitation that confronts us. Truly, we are. Our blogs show us this. I do not know how exactly, but my blog tells me what I need to hear.

Asked to simply think about situations on my own, I would fail to find vocabulary. Put the blank posting page in front of me, though, and my Spirit sees its openings and writes and writes some more. Always winking back at me with “Are you listening? Are you listening?”

I realize what a gift I have been given. The writing is never about finding answers- it’s all about simply understanding.

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This art is very important to me. On the post in the center is a basic symbol used for a pine cone (these have been appearing in my dreams). Pinecones symbolize our pineal gland, 3rd eye- our most insightful awareness. My pineal gland sits above this current situation I am in.

The pineal gland witnesses the pieces of me- which are round, colored balls – representing my chakras. Yes, they feel separated right now. I am not sure who I am. But, the strength in this image stands. There is lightness and hope in the picture and I am blessed with not only hearing, but seeing, what I need to understand.

i don’t know if anyone is feeling as I am today- but I hope the words and images give you some hope 🙂

Self-Publishing: The One Question You need to Answer

Next Step

When writing or creating something large, you can easily get lost in the process.

Ideas flit about and you try to keep track of them all.

You chase down dead ends. You jot notes down to remember certain things and then lose the notes. You write and realize that the last six paragraphs are a waste because you just wrote in a giant circle. You forget important ideas until the exact moment you are working on a different, essential idea and can’t stop. You switch topics and then lose track of the first, or was it second?, important idea.

And this does not take into account all the thoughts/decisions with the publishing process.

You can become really discouraged as this unfolds before you.

However, you will always be o.k. if you can answer one question: What is the next step I need to take?

The creation of any complete, complex work actually hinges on answering this one single question repeatedly.

Answer that one question, and you will be surprised how the work is capable of moving on, step by step, even if you feel lost or overwhelmed.

In an endeavor as large as publishing a book, there is really only one question to your potential success: what is your next step?

Want more Comments on Your Writing?…Then, Fulfill this Responsibility

Creative Hands

Creation is not a problem for most people, even if they label themselves as “completely un-creative”.

We are creating every minute of our lives. Some, such as writers, bloggers, and artists, do this “creative” thing on a more official, public level, but the basic act of creation is still the same.

I have found for any artist then, creating is not the issue. Where I see many artists become frustrated is with the shadowed, back-end of creativity. This aspect is something that the artist may be seeking, but may or may not be consciously addressing.

Most artists are happy to create. They will say they are inspired to do so.

But most artists are also seeking the next step- their work to CONNECT with someone.

The feedback artists require is not necessarily praise and applause, but rather the knowledge that their work “hit the mark” and resonated with someone.

When no one comments on an artist’s work, an artist can become frustrated. I have heard comments such as “I put all this time into this. I reach out with my work and no one notices.”

If you want your work noticed, whether it is art, writing, or blogging, an essential component must be addressed.

Everyone who interacts with a piece of art or writing, as a viewer or reader, is “selfish”. They want something from the art.

When I read someone’s work, I want to walk away with something for me. I want to be inspired. I want to have laughed. I want an emotion stirred within me. I want a new insight. I want to feel pleasure or awe.

And this is where the responsibility of the artist/writer comes into play- If you want others to engage with your work, to comment, and to notice- then you, as the artist, must give the viewer something to hold onto from your art.

No one wants to be barraged with random words or images and take nothing from the experience.

What viewers are seeking is something tangible to hold onto from your creative act.

And, you as the artist, have the responsibility to hold yourself to this standard: You must create in such a way that someone interacting with your piece has something to hold onto within it and can take from it.

Don’t put nebulous, rambling creations out there and expect connection through your work. You have given the audience nothing to hold onto, because you, yourself, have not created anything of solidity which can be held.

If you can not hold it yourself, you will be unable to give it to anyone else.

You do not write to vent or release…

Creating

…and free yourself of demons.

You write to dig and discover.

You are not looking to free yourself of anything.

You are writing to embrace what is uncovered.

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We can only change that which is “ours”.

Some speak to the catharsis of writing, to the spewing forth and releasing of that which is hidden deep inside. There can be a sense of relief when dark secretes take flight as words across the page. And I will not deny this process.

However, the process, as so many discover, does not end in the ranting, the spewing, and the attempt at release.

What every writer and reader is looking for is not a ride along a wave of words released, but rather a chance to hold what another has embraced.

When I read the blogs of others, I see the power of writing not in the releasing, but rather in the holding of ideas, beliefs, memories, thoughts and feelings that have been uncovered and discovered.

I see these writers hold up these items, some treasures, some dark and deadly, to the light of their sharp mind and verbal skills. And I realize these items, held by these writers, never stood a chance, because the writer as creator will transform them, coddled as they are in his or her grip.

If I release you, I will never hold you and I may deny you are mine.

If I hold you, I own the power to transform you.

And this is what I see so many writers doing.