It’s Not About a Woman’s Body

Lately, the issue of abortion has moved into our collective consciousness, yet, once again. My hope would be, as with all such things, that consciousness leads to awareness.

First and foremost, despite what is so frequently stated, abortion is not about a woman’s body. Abortion is about a woman’s WAY OF BEING in the world, which extends well beyond her physical body.

A woman contemplating, or completing an abortion, is not engendering an act that is only speaking to her body. No, a woman considering an abortion is relating to the ENTIRETY of HER BEING in the world. What she will be in relation to, what she will be responsive to, what she will create, what will she energetically carry with her within the world.

Any woman knows that to be in the space of pregnancy is to be in existence with the life energy BEYOND the borders of an individual body.

We keep talking about the body as if this were a black/white issue as to who controls what. No. It’s more than that. It always has been and will always be.

For you see, women are the creators of this world. No one exists, but for the blood and body of a woman. It is this innate power of BEING WOMAN, the creator of the life of another through her OWN BEING, which expresses a woman’s God-like qualities.

We do not fear the act of conceiving and the giving of life that women do the world over. What we fear, but have yet to admit, is a woman’s awesome potential to not only beget life, but to end it.

Make no mistake. In her God-like manner, creator of all in the world, a woman is called to own her STATE OF BEING. Women are not simply walking wombs of creation. How a woman relates to the world BEYOND her body is HERS to OWN. Every woman must ask the hard questions, of her BEING, not of her body, about what she longs to manifest, invest in, and bring to birth.

Like so much associated with women, we only want part of the story. We want conception and childbirth, but not the uterine lining and “messy” menstrual periods which make it all possible. We want the all-compassionate, self-sacrificing woman, never stopping to realize that into every woman a bit of Kali must raise up.

A woman’s right is the right to be in her own STATE OF BEING, for she is the one who embodies this state of Being and all the potentials contained therein.

We are attempting to control, through the physical, the entirety of HER.

And, this is wrong. A woman, quite simply, carries the borderland of transformation within her body. She is the gatekeeper of this energetic energy – what will be expressed and manifested in this world and what will not be.

And how do we know it is her decision to make? She was born with it in her Being.

All In!

A Woman and Her Eggs

A Woman and Her Eggs

Sometimes, proverb be taunted,
You just have to put all your eggs in one basket.

I liked this image of a woman carrying her eggs.

Eggs represent potential, and this woman has taken the
time and energy to gather hers.

When we begin to gather our resources with a single-pointed focus, we begin to manifest summative power. The parts begin to fit together in such a way that the summed energy becomes greater.

I like in this image that the woman has gathered all of her power in one place. The eggs (potential) are not scattered here and there and she is not left running round picking up one egg after another, losing energy along the way.

She has gathered them all and she is walking with purpose and intent.

When a woman (and of course, we can extend this to men in the symbolic sense) has all of her eggs in a basket, you might want to watch out. At this point, she will be fully committed to her purpose and will not be easily swayed to think otherwise.

Think about what is has meant to gather all of your “eggs” in one place and what this powerful energy may manifest. Perhaps you looking to buy a home, begin a relationship, end a relationship, start a career, end a career, have a child, raise a child or whatever.

Times exist in life in which your power is tightly gathered- the storing of the potential energy before its kinetic release- the eggs in the basket.

The woman in the image speaks to this energy. The Time is truly Now.
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I really liked this image. I love the red of the dress and the other colors- it makes me think of fire and flames. I actually drew in energy wafting up from the eggs.

I love her stride and bearing of this woman.

This is How a Woman does TRUE BEAUTY

True Beauty

True Beauty

Oh, you may label Her
with your biting tongue and snake-like ways

You may label her “ugly” with teeth “too big”
You may speak of her ears, as if she could not hear

And oh, that skin, with a hue that never wins
You will belittle her in your mean-spirited ways

But what, what will this woman hear?
Not a word that you hold so dear

For She is a woman of True Beauty
where words have no meaning

blinded as we are by the
Light of Her Being.

I LOVE this little character. She is a sign to me, after having my character and Spirit “attacked” (as if that could happen) by my stepchildren’s mother, that we should never fear our Light and our Light shines through no matter what.

A woman of True Beauty can take on it all and transform it. You can sling mud-filled words at her and she will stand firm trusting in her own light.

A month or so ago I wrote on this blog that I am beginning to see myself (in a healthy way) as a mother to my two stepchildren. I am finally honoring the energy I give to them as “mothering” energy. Once I made that awareness and in a sense formed a contract with myself to honor this energy, I realized that in situations such as this, I want to show my stepchildren how a woman of True Beauty handles something like this.

I want them to understand that no matter what someone tries to do to you, that you have the power to choose, to stand up for yourself and embrace your own Beauty. No one, and I mean, no one can take this beauty away from a woman true to her power.

Many would not find a llama particularly beautiful- but look at her in this picture- she does not know this. Her light is so bright- you see it first. She does not hide. This act of Being one’s Light is the the act of True Beauty of which we all seek.

When I looked up llama symbolism, I came across this “You are reminded to view yourself with compassion and love.”

A woman of True Beauty lives this for she knows she is the Goddess incarnate and nothing could be more beautiful.
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This image came to me in a strange way. I was in my yard and looked across the field at a tree/bush. I looked and I thought “Wow, it can’t tell if it wants to be a llama or a peacock.” So I drew both.

I also told my husband this story and he said, “Wow! It’s a llama-cock.” (Proving to me one’s again there is a part of male humor that never moves past the age of 12 🙂 ).

A Small, Simple Prayer for Your Best Self Today

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Today I have a simple mantra:

“That which is me…let it be…let it be.”
“That which is me…let it be…let it be.”

I used this in my meditation. Calling forth the highest part of myself – “That which is me…” while at the same time giving myself the break from trying so hard all the time -“let it be..let it be..”

For today, I will pray that my best self, the one that strives for all the goodness, love, peace and compassion within me, is not hidden, but rather “let be” and is free for all the world to see.

A Blessing For Those Who have Traveled Life with You

My Direction Was Set

My Direction Was Set

My path was set before the Heavens were born.
Maps held to my heart until I felt I and they would crumble.

Despite my best attempt, I became rudderless along the way.
But, no more.

The direction lies ahead and I unfold the map within my heart-
recognizing my place among the stars.

My route is sure.
My hope is firm.

We travel two to a page or go our separate ways.
But always know I carry pieces of you to the stars.

A Woman, An Anniversary, and A Gift with a Story to Tell

A good gift allows everyone to benefit.
Some gifts just keep on giving. I was the recipient of such a gift this weekend.

My husband took me shopping for a gift for our wedding anniversary. I had something chosen in mind before we left, but received something of much greater value.
Below is a picture of the gift he gave me- on the physical level. It is beautiful in its own right and speaks of our love.
On the spiritual level, the gift is much more profound.

necklace

What this gift gave me and what I hope to pass on to you is the faith and belief that you are always supported as you seek the Highest Good for yourself and everyone in your life.

I am familiar with AA through those I love, and something I have come to realize that AA does very well is it helps the participants embrace their changing lives on both the physical and spiritual levels.

Many internal changes, of course, happen within AA and similar groups. What is key, though, is that these changes are solidified and acknowledged physically by certain rituals. Participants receive coins, anniversary chips, etc. It may sound corny, but when you are undergoing a great deal of change, it can be difficult to feel confident.

You are not who you were before; yet your newly formed sense of self is a little shaky. Signs of support can make all the difference in you continuing on the path.

That is what this gift of the necklace did for me. The image of simple hearts has been in my art work for at least a year now. This year has been one of upheaval and disturbance as the old stories of my life have fallen away. Left in the wake of this dismantling has been the creation of time and space to reflect.

And there have been times, when I wanted to stop the process. In my weaker, more self-pitying moments, I did not think my personal growth was worth the price of confusion, tears, and quite honestly, work.

But that sense of love and heart never left me and I continued on my way.

The necklace with its simple heart spoke to me. It was the sign I needed that my personal work was supported.

And I wonder how many on their own personal journeys receive similar signs. I think we seek these signs on the subconscious level, so challenging can true personal growth be, we need some assurance that our internal work is integrated on the broader, external level.

I am here to tell you that it is, it is.

If you are in the midst of changing your life and becoming what your heart desires, please believe that you are supported. Take a moment and look for signs of support that you are being given. If you feel you can’t find any, ask and pray for one and then look again. It could be in the form of a perfect book, a quote that resonates, a powerful dream, a pattern of flowers, cloud shape in the sky- anything that may serve as a symbol to you.

Use it for motivation and strength. Like the person in AA who may carry the coin in his or her pocket as a reminder of his or her significant commitment to a better life, place your symbol near you physically or hold it within your heart- to remind you that you truly are worthy of change for the better.

How Cheese and Crackers Have Changed My Life

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Ever have the experience in which you are speaking about your life, relaying the oh, so “normal” tidbits, not thinking once, not thinking twice, about the information being relayed only to have another person point out, often gently, how strange it all may be?

At one time my therapist helped me realize how I become, what I now refer to as “Cheese and Cracker Kim”. In a session, I was merrily relating that I happily cook for my family almost every night, typical meat and potatoes fair. Because they really like and expect meat. Because I am a vegetarian, some nights I would just end up having cheese and crackers for dinner.

My therapist asked me, “How often does this happen?”

“Cheese and Cracker Kim” answered, “Oh, gosh, I don’t know, maybe 3 or 4 nights a week.” I think I said this a sense of happiness, because cheese and crackers were not the point of my story and I really wanted to move onto the “good” stuff- i.e. the really pressing problems as to why I was in therapy.

My therapist paused my ongoing diatribe to point out the symbolism of preparing meals for others while I basically made-do with crumbs.

I still did not see the point. I was “fine” and I was “especially fine” since everyone else was happy and well-fed.

“Cracker and Cheese Kim” was doing great!

Until recently.

Lately, I have experienced a great deal of awareness, change, and honestly, hope for treating myself better. I no longer see myself as someone satisfied with the crumbs while others eat to their fill.

So this is what has happened, “Cracker and Cheese Kim” has moved on and filled her plate but I am the only one, for now, at the new buffet.

The universe always provides opportunities to test our growth. Flex our new muscles, if you will, and add some strength and mass to our convictions. My life has shown me how I long for my plate to be filled- to be honored during my wedding anniversary, to have my husband’s family acknowledge me, to have my stepkids notice me (even if we are on vacation!).

All of these scenarios would have been met by “Cheese and Cracker Kim” with a grin, shrug, and “Gee Whiz, I don’t need a thing.”

Now I have needs, and into the awareness, a few gaps have appeared. It will take some time for others in my life to realize that I need to be filled also. There is a gap at present between what I need and what they have provided in the past. Let’s be honest, there was no gap in past, because “Cheese and Cracker Kim” had filled it all in for everyone.

I guess I am writing this, in case you are in a similar situation. Perhaps you have come to a new awareness. Perhaps you are stronger. And, perhaps like I did, you wonder why things have not immediately changed and why you are not feeling better.

It’s almost as if because we change we expect everyone around us to have undergone the same transformation. If they love you and are worth having you in their life, they will. The gap created by your growth will eventually be filled. Trust that your growth and the gaps it produces is actually presenting the space for the growth for others.

You don’t have to be a “Cheese and Cracker” person, when the buffet of life sits before you.

You Can and Will Survive the Sea of Change

During times of upheaval, we can feel as if we lose sense our selves. Of course, we do not. At our core, we truly remember who we are. This sense of knowing is what provides the guidance for much of our lives. We are seekers- returning to our selves.

May we use this for inspiration when life is seemingly tossing us about.

Below is an art piece I recently created reminding me of this idea. I had thought I was going to create a simply vesica pisces (the ultimate symbol of union, in my mind). But this is what emerged:

And the Seas Shall Part...

And the Seas Shall Part…

I saw the beautiful yellow vesica pisces (yellow= third chakra, which is the place of self-will and identity). This figure emerges from blue waves (something I had not anticipated). And I thought of Moses and the parting of the sea. Faith making way for the transformative journey.

And I also thought, while looking at that vesica pisces, of a vulva and birth and re-birth of our identities. How we can emerge from turmoil re-born, yet still intact, in union with ourselves.

When the seas of change swirl around us, may our faith and love part the way for the emergence of a new sense of self.

When the Relationship Most Changed is the One with Yourself

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One woman left for a trip. Another woman returned.

I spent the past 12 days traveling with my husband, stepchildren, and his extended family throughout Florida. We were quite the group of 16 individuals. I went into this trip as “wife” and “stepmom” and received little support for either of those roles.
I was suddenly – “object”- within the lives of others. A handy traveling companion while the needs of my family were met by Disney and others.

And I realized something on this trip- Don’t ever stop growing and changing in order to serve the base needs of others.

In books of personal growth, you will often read that something along these lines – “as you work on yourself and change your life, your relationships will change”. This trip was living proof to me.

Normally, treated as I was, I would have shut down. My motto would have been “As long as everyone else is happy, I am o.k.”.
But not this time and not this trip. I fought for myself.

We can fool ourselves on our journey to self-awareness. So caught up we may be in the ideals of “love and light”. Living in the ideal, we lose sight of the real. We would all love to check out and live in simple spiritual truths. The bottom line is that we are physical beings and our place in this world matters.

I would have buried my own needs in order to “live in peace and harmony” with others. Heaven forbid, I ever make(?) someone feel bad or guilty for what they had done to me. But my growth is calling me to a different place- a place in which I love and value myself, and subsequently, a place in which I will stand up for myself.

I do not suppress this need to grow in this way any longer, in order to “spare” the feelings of others. I am never harsh or mean, but I am authentic when I now understand my own sense of well-being matters as much as everyone else’s.

On this trip, perhaps the relationship that changed the most was the one I have with myself.