Getting Real about What We Can and Can Not Give Our Children

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A Prayer for Every Child

My child-
If I could give you my love to use in this world-I would, I would

My child-
If I could give you my compassion to use in this world-I would, I would

My child-
If I could give you my peace to use in this world-I would, I would

My child-
If I could give you my grace to use in this world-I would, I would

My child-
If I could give you my mercy to use in this world-I would, I would

My child-
I would give you all of these and more to use in the world-If I could, if I could

But life requires more of us, my sweet child, than the use of the gifts of another.

Do not fret, my child, for this is my prayer-

I pray with deepest hearts that you may be so touched and overfilled by my love, compassion, peace, grace and mercy

That you, my beautiful child, will have more than enough to give.

The beauty of our growth, my dear child, is that you will get to choose what is done with these gifts.

Choose well, my child, choose well.

I do not have my own children, but I help raise my stepchildren. This is my prayer for them. I try to lead by example and give them all of my greatest gifts, but ultimately, as with all things in life, the child will decide what he or she will become. My only prayer is I do the best I can to help them use the gifts they have been given.

Another way to look at this prayer- if you believe in God- is to imagine God thinking about each of us in this way. God has given each of us- love, peace, grace, compassion, and mercy. God can not control the use of these gifts- that is the choice for each of us.

The Only Way to Repair the Past

Past

Past

The only way to repair the past is to become more conscious and aware in the present moment.

By “repair the past”, I do not mean to completely change or fix what was done to you or what you have done to others in times that are no longer with us. The turning back of time to right some wrong is impossible. What can be done, however, is to create a context and awareness within the present moment that the past is literally transformed within our own sense of Being.

As we come to a greater understanding of ourselves and raise our consciousness (which can only happen in the present moment) we shed new light on the past and the transgressions of the past.

With new found consciousness, we are blessed with fresh understanding and a way to transform what happened so long ago.

I see people do this day after day on their blogs. I can literally see their consciousness holding up the past and seeing it in a new light and angle. This is the miracle, the grace of being able to change our lives. We are not limited by the physicality of time and the definition of “the past” when within us lies the potential to see everything anew.

Words Are My Minions

Words

Words

Words are my minions. They beautifully march across the page…. all in a line and all aligned. They carry loads that would break lesser backs; loads I am too afraid to even consciously admit to myself.
Much like the ant, words are always moving, always serving with an undying sense to my greater good.

Words never break and they never shatter. They refuse to hide in the shadows of my psyche. They demand to perform, while being most humble in the face of duty.

I watch these words and marvel at the worlds they create. And in thanks, my words willingly carry the weight of my heart so I may uncover the love underneath the load they carry.

What We Are Really Doing When We End Something in Life

Freedom

Freedom

We must not fool ourselves about the endings in our lives. We may end relationships, jobs, acquaintances, living arrangements and so on. The request for an ending is but a prayer for change and within the prayer of change is a call for our soul’s release.

We must not hang onto that which is not ours. When you must release something or someone in your life know it is you- who you are setting free.

Take away the shackles that bind you in misery and you will find it is yourself you are releasing.

Spend not a minute in worry over that which you have “un-bound” yourself from. Guilt is but another way to remain bound and claimed by another. Each soul walks its journey and has the strength to do so.

Relish your freedom when the call to end something within your life reveals itself. Know you are an eternal soul and eternal souls reign along sovereign domain taking no prisoners as claim.

A Simple Thing That Opens the Day

Prayer

Prayer

Sometimes we don’t know exactly how to approach a situation or how to act in the best interest of ourselves and others. I find the following affirmation helps me in any situation in which I find myself uncertain of the next action.

May I be a mirror which reflects the best of everyone I meet.

I find this prayer gets me out of my own futile thinking loop. I do not have to anticipate, control, or create a special moment for anyone. I simply must be present and in the space to recognize the blessedness of each.

My Failure in Understanding “This Too Shall Pass”- One of My Favorite Sayings

Holding

Holding

If I want to move on in life, I must refrain to holding everything so tightly to me. I am a hoarder of the emotional, stress, wounding type.

Forty-eight hours after a stressful event, I may well find myself still clinging to the emotional energy of betrayal, anger, fear, or a combination of these. It as if the event, which may have occurred over a few moments of time, lingers and surrounds me. My own version of Pig Pen and his cloud of dust.

I will then wonder why the event has affected me so much and I can’t seem to move past it. Obviously, nothing can move past me if I refuse to let it go.

I have always loved the phrase “this too shall pass”, and only now realize how much I have misunderstood these words. In regards to “this too shall pass” my contribution is not passivity, as I used to think as I awaited the glorious, anticipated “moving on” or “passing”. Rather my role is one of conscious action and attention to releasing anything I hold in relation to the event.

Life, in anything, is about motion. When I cling too tightly, stagnation is the only result. The natural order of life is to move, to pass, and to allow the past its place, so the future may emerge- free of holding.

The Choice is Yours

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The Choice

Peace
Sadness
Anger
Love
Joy
Loneliness
Happiness

All are routes to God and our Greater Selves.

The Challenge of Life- Which road do you choose?

The Glory of Life-We are allowed the choice.

Too often, I believe I must be perfect in life to be who I truly am. But the route to myself and the God within me can take a myriad of forms. Anger can be a stimulus to travel my path, as can my loneliness. Likewise, joy is a place along this route as are happiness and love.

God forgives me, now only if I could forgive myself and simply enjoy the route.

The Feather Touch of Learning Life’s Lessons

Feather Light

Feather Light


I run quickly, fruitfully to the feathers falling to Earth. I reach and grab and hope to hold one to my chest. These are the lessons I am to learn. Just when I think I have “it” and “me” all figured out, another feather brushes me, reminding me there is more to understand. Sometimes these feathers land with ease, right near me. At other times, I am the exhausted chaser thinking the end will never come.

I want to be a better person, I truly do. And in moments I believe I am shedding my false self and constant reminders of what I am not. And for those briefest minutes, I am rewarded with an amazing sense of self.

But life is forever enjoying its own wit and as I become complacent, I am brushed by another feather, indicating yet another lesson to learn. And I give chase once more, realizing how much I have still hidden within me that is calling to be released to the wind.

So I give chase. In every instance, even the ones I so long NOT to recall, I ask myself, “What is the lesson to be learned?” “What can I find here to help me?” And, it certainly is not always pretty. But I gather the feathers of my lessons and I learn – and perhaps most importantly, I learn what it is to give chase, to believe in lessons, because it implies hope and belief in how I truly see myself.

Recognition: The gift We can Give Another

Heart Power

Heart Power

The Gift of Recognition

So much love…
that even one of my tears

does not fall alone

but finds company in
the compassion of your heart.

Recognition of another is one of our greatest gifts to give. I do not mean recognition in the form of awards or accolades, but the recognition of one’s self in the experience, pain, and joy in another person. This is the bridge we all seek.

I have had moments in which I have felt completely saved by strangers who with a kind word and knowing smile helped me to sense that I was not alone. When one heart recognizes another and acknowledges with compassion the human-ness in each of us, worlds are transformed.

The heart must be open to truly “recognize” another. When our hearts are shut and closed within our own pain and our own limited belief, recognition of another becomes almost impossible and the perpetuation of the pain cycles continues.

However, when we sense our tears do not fall alone, but find company in the compassion of others- we believe in our own capacity to love and be loved.

The Power in Moving from Victim to Victor….

This weekend our dog was attacked by another dog. I was walking my dog at the time and I had him on a leash. The other dog escaped from his fenced area and attacked my dog from behind. At first, I thought my dog had escaped being wounded. Time would show me otherwise. Once I got him home and checked him out, I realized he was bleeding from a wound on his left side. (He is now healing very well 🙂 He is a yellow Lab. Is there any creature more loving and friendly? I think not.)

At this point, I decided to call the police. (Yes, we live in that small of a town. 🙂 ). It was also at this point that I made the completely unconscious decision to enter what I now refer to as “victim dissociation mode”. For those who have experienced trauma and abuse, the response is not that uncommon.

For me, the response involves responding, projecting, anticipating, controlling, and caring for everyone BUT myself and in this case- my injured dog. See, if you have experienced abuse, one way you learn to survive is to control everything you can, while at the same time, dissociating from yourself because the pain is too great.

So, on this day, I spent time worrying about the following: the police officers who had to handle a “dog issue”, which in my mind, I created the scenario that this was a nuisance in regards to their use of time. I was also worried that one officer seemed very quiet and perhaps I had upset him. I then worried about saying I wanted the owners of the dog to be ticketed, because, my goodness..what if they were unable to afford the ticket? Next, I spent time worrying that I needed to get my dog to the vet. The vet was closing at 2:00 and I could not get there until 2:00. Now, I had the guilt of making the vet stay late. (None of this was based on the vet’s response, by the way. This was ALL coming from me.) While at the vet, the police officers had a follow-up call for me and now I was upset this was taking up more of their day- on such a “small issue”. Again, they did not convey this to me, it was everything I was telling myself.

You may be asking, as I have begun to ask myself- where was my anger? My dog was attacked from behind! Where was my fear? Buried deep, deep inside. Where was my overwhelming concern for myself and what I witnessed? Nowhere to be found. What about my dog? I placed him in the same category as me- I felt I could “manage” his suffering and thus not be bothering anyone with my fearful concerns for him.

And that is what happens in victim mentality. You become numb to your own reality because it is “easier” and too frightening to confront what is actually happening- events of which you have NO control that are causing you pain. And so you let your mind fly away on fantasies and projections, worrying about others, when your utmost, number one concern should be yourself.

I learned something about myself on this day. I learned how much I STILL dissociate. I learned how, when I am unable to worry for myself, I distort and project my worries on to others. I learned that I desperately want to control and prevent bad things from happening, because I get all turned around in my mind and think the bad things that are happening are somehow my fault and if I were just smart enough, or good enough, I could stop them.

But, that is the “victim” part of this story. I also learned even in the midst of trauma I can be the victor. I took care of my dog. I got him to safety. I saw his wound and got him help. I protected others in the area by informing and then dealing with the police officers. I was smart enough to reach out to friends who helped me find a vet who was open on Saturday and willing to help me with my dog. And I got my dog to the vet in time and he is healing fine.

And unlike the victim stories that spew and churn in my mind, the above are the FACTS of what happened. I helped my dog, I protected him and myself, removed us from a dangerous situation and got us help. There is not one thing “victim-like” in those acts.

As victims, we can not control what is done to us (or has been done in the past). That is the “victim” portion of our lives. However, we can transform and transcend and not stay immersed in the energy of victimhood. We can emerge as the victor of our own lives.