I get to choose and so do you each and every day. Will I follow the light of God’s Love (however you define that to be) or suffer in the darkness of anger and pain?
Yesterday, I was presented this beautiful choice so clearly.
As I posted yesterday, I had a revelation about being a stepmom and my sense of mothering.
This awareness was one of the largest changes I had sensed in some time. I was just getting used to the feeling of it and appreciating everyone’s support after I had posted the blog.
Still in my haze of love, I heard the UPS man on our porch and ran out to the get the package. He looked up at me and said, “You surprised me. No one is usually home. ” And I said, “It’s just a strange day. I am lucky to be home so early.”
As I turned to walk inside, what he said next stopped me in my tracks. He called out to me as he got into this truck, “Well, have a great Mother’s Day this weekend.”
Someone said this to me, Kim Harding. Biologically, mother to no one. In her heart though, learning to be mother to two stepchildren.
Over the years, hardly anyone has acknowledged Mother’s day for me. ANd here was a UPS man (a deliverer from God in my mind that day) wishing me the sentiments to further ground my new found awareness in myself as a mother.
God will use any means to give us signs and symbols along our journeys. The symbolism of a UPS delivery man is not lost on me. (He is going to be getting a nice thank you note, Sbucks card from me, that is for sure!)
So that was my morning. Later I had to hurry to go pick up my stepdaughter from school. She is with her Mom these weeks, but I wanted to celebrate her last day of school before a big school trip the next week. She was really excited.
When I picked her up, I asked her where she wanted to go. She hemmed and hawed. Finally, I said, let’s go the mall (we have a very small one in town). We never do that. She didn’t say much. I pulled into the mall, first one parking spot wouldn’t work and then another wouldn’t ( I have no ability park in tight quarters.) Finally, we were set.
Before I could put the car in park, she looked at me and said, “Oh my Mom and brother may be here getting their hair cut.”
I paused and I said, “Well, maybe we should not go here. I think your Mom hates me and would prefer not to see me. This is about us, so let’s go somewhere else.”
She looked at me and said, “Yeah. Let’s go somewhere else.”
I do not know why I used the word “hate” in my statement, except that is was probably energetically true. It saddened me (not for me, but for her) that my stepdaughter did not counter my word choice. Not that I expected her to, but it was a shocking awareness that her Mom has made it quite clear that she hates me.
Her Mom may feel this gives her some power over me or something, but it does not. My life continues on as it does, whether my stepchildren’s mother likes me, loves me or hates me.
What I am most struck with is what a horrible thing to teach a child- to hate someone. We only have one opportunity to raise “our” children. Hate should never be part of the lesson.
As for me, I saw within a 4 hour span, how I can choose the messages I receive. I chose to see God’s love for me and God’s support of what I try to do as a stepmother- delivered to me by a UPS delivery man.
And I will choose to see that hate has no place in my life or relationships.