Bunny Buddha

Joy

Joy

What happens on a given morning that a heart awakens with such joy
when the evening before it had lived in exhaustion?
Did God take the night time to whisper sweetness in the sleepy ear or
in the space of darkness and quiet,
did the Heart fortify itself with the sound of its own rhythm?

I awakened this morning feeling much stronger than I have recently. I was surprised, as I went to bed so exhausted last evening. I always wonder what happens during those times which allows the Heart to feel so much lighter in the morning.

Get out of Your Fantasies and Into your Dreams

Fantasy Dream

Fantasy Dream

Again, continuing on with my left-handed art. The bottom image is a person turning inward in protection. The top image is of a bird (Spirit flight).

It got me thinking of something discussed in therapy the other week- the difference between fantasies and dreams.

In my vocabulary, fantasies are not real. They are false projections that we attempt to uphold with our words. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to support a fantasy because it has no real substance. We must provide any substance for it.

One of my favorite phrases, and I am so sure others love it 🙂 , is “Get out of Your Fantasy”. I even say that to myself sometimes. I even said it recently to a student advisee who was insisting she was a science major but did was not going to take any chemistry or physics courses. I simply said, “If you are not going to take those courses, you need to get out of the fantasy you are a science major.” We actually had a good conversation after that.

Dreams, represented by the bird in the image, are different. Even in unrealized form, they are still based on truth. The energy when working with dreams then is not to provide them substance. Substance, or truth, is already present. The energy of dreams is simply to follow that kernel of truth.

The resources that dreams require, then, are different from the resources of fantasies. Fantasy require invest with no return. Dreams, with invest, begin to unfold naturally and in so doing, return on your investment.

Dreams are in truth and reality, fantasies are not.

Get our of your fantasies and in to your dreams 🙂

The Power of “Not Good Enough” Girl

Angel Carrying Sun

Angel Carrying Sun

I have an alter ego. I used to say I was secretly a “bad-ass rocker chick”, until I mentioned it to my family. After they stopped laughing, they said the only other career they thought I could have is as a librarian. I am not sure they were too hopeful even with that.

I met my other alter ego recently. We have been having a very busy summer. I will do three trips in 8 weeks, I am teaching 3 classes, and am beginning a new consulting opportunity. In the midst, we are building a new home and attempting to sell our current one.

Our realtor called the other day and said some agents were saying our home was too cluttered. You see, I had been packing and had nowhere to put the boxes.

I was mortified. I chastised myself- “Our house is not selling because you made it too cluttered, even after they said to remove the clutter. What were you thinking? You should have had the house cleaner.”

As I walked under the shade tree to my car at work that day, I met her, my alter ego, “Not Good Enough” (NGE) girl.

“NGE” girl has been with me my entire life. In deep conversations with friends, I would literally say, ” I wish I were good enough.” Good enough at what? My answer would have been “Life in general.”

“NGE” Girl is unstoppable. She was created, in her mind, to save the world. She was first going to save my mother (who was suicidal for part of my childhood). Step two, even better, was that she was going to make my mother happy.

She would do everything in her powers, and still it would NOT be enough. Thus “NGE” Girl was born.

I had not “seen” her for some time until that day. It amazed me (and perhaps you can relate) how rabid, intense, and cut-throat that internal voice of my “failure” was. My house was “not good enough” and by extension neither was I.

I don’t think I am the only woman who lives with such a voice. I think there are many, many “NGE” Girls out there.

“NGE” Girls are always striving, always perfecting, in an attempt to “be enough”.

I like to change things around and find my power, if you will. In any event in which I am lost, I picture an infinity loop with me in the center. I send my energy out, and the goal is for it to turn that corner and return to me, completing the cycle.

I put the energy of “NGE” Girl out there- how could I get that energy back?

I believe each contains its opposite- so what power could I gain from “NGE” Girl?

“NGE” Girl is first and foremost- unstoppable. It may not always be the healthiest approach, but She truly believes She can and will do it all.

“NGE” Girl is driven. She has “failed” so many times, failure does not even register with her, She keeps going.

“NGE” Girl is smart, wicked- smart. She has to be. If She is going to save herself and the world, She will watch, She will learn and She will begin to anticipate.

“NGE” Girl is compassionate. Having been belittled and “not enough” her entire life, She knows an underdog when She sees one and has no problem being a champion of its cause.

“NGE” Girl is fearless. She has already lost a lot and still She is willing to risk more.

“NGE” Girl is aware. She is tried her entire life to “make it right”. It has been her passion to live to her highest potential. It may not be recognized by others but She know “good enough” is there and she refuses to settle.

As I wrote, I think there are many “NGE” Girls out there. We may have been overtly told or subjectively referenced that we are “not enough”.

But that “not enough” has carried a potential of Power within It. May every “NGE” Girl not only learn to use that Power, but come to acknowledge it!

Soul touches Self

Mudra

Mudra


The Dhyana Mudra
completing the infinite circle
in which the Soul comes to touch
itself
with the same compassion
it bestows upon the world.

Interesting little picture. The hands are in the dhyana mudra- one of the more common mudras.
I thought about the unity implied by one hand coming to rest in the other, as if completing a circle.

When we can touch ourselves with even a drop of the infinite compassion we long to express in this world, our Soul comes to recognize itself.

Your Soul does not recognize itself in your rejections, projections, and attempts to control. The Soul already knows what you have come to learn.

Don’t Live the False Projection

Reflection

Reflection


If all the world is but a mirror,
what value do I place upon the reflection?

I am sure we have all heard the saying that our world mirrors us in some ways.

I think this is true, but we are each responsible for having the initiative and awareness for engaging with those reflections that are most aligned with the Higher Truth.

I write this, because recently I found myself (again) caught up with the distorted projections and perceptions of another.

Their projections and perceptions of me are not true, not in the least. YET, I will spend an INORDINATE amount of time trying to “correct” the perceptions.

Really?

The perceptions are false.
They say more about the other person than they do about me.
But, there I am, working merrily along, trying to “show” them they are wrong.

In engaging in this manner, I am giving validity to the projection.

None of us need to live out the false projections of others, who are simply demonstrating their own wounded-ness and sense of lack.

When we attempt to engage with these projections, it never goes well, because the projections are not real and thus have no substance.

In so many ways, others can only tell us about themselves – by the words they choose.

If the world is a mirror, choose wisely what part of that mirror you look into. May it be the shiny, pure portion in which you see your best self.

The Perils

Introspection

Introspection

The perils of introspection-
too long navel-gazing
tied up in knots.

—-
I liked this little image. It reminded me of plow pose in yoga.

For some reason it lead to me thinking about the introspective life, and if you are like me, how this introspection can take on momentum of its own at times.

I will think and think, re-think, and think again on certain topics.

My husband has been the recipient, at times, of these “insights”, as I begin a conversation with ~ 18 paragraphs of introductory material. Material, that I might add, that is so NOT needed as often these topics are things we have discussed before.

But, in my introspective mode, I will find the need to re-hash it all once again.

There is a sense in my life, right now, of beginning to understand how needed “moving on” and “letting go” can be.

To be tied up in knots, only seeing one’s navel can be an interesting perspective- for a time, but life moves on and such a gaze does not lend itself to capturing the views.