As you know, sometimes I pass along what I experience with having a favorite narcissist in my life.
And the other night, I came up with mantra that has helped me. It is simply this:
“My perceptions are correct. As my perceptions are correct, I am free to respond in a way that best suits me.”
One of the things that happens when dealing with a favorite narcissist is the self-doubt. Narcissists relate and engage from a point that is so counter to “healthy” that we are already at a disadvantage in our interactions. We are a step behind (or more) because it is as if we have to translate a language foreign to us before responding.
As we suffer through this uncertainty, we come disconnected and disoriented in regards to what we are experiencing. (Of course the narcissist helps propel us along this journey- doing everything in his or her power to confuse us.)
If we are to engage with a narcissist, we must do so from a point of grounded awareness. WE must trust our perceptions of what is occurring (even if a part of us would like to believe this could be or should be different). Our hopes of what could be should not distort the reality of what is.
Trust your perceptions.
If you perceive the narcissist is selfish, demeaning, critical, egotistical, etc,- don’t explain it away for yourself.
Simply state “My perceptions are correct” and then engage withe second half of the mantra “Now, what do I want to do with this information?”
Your perceptions are your gift to awareness.