Throwing Good Energy after Craziness

Whatever makes You Happy

Whatever makes You Happy

We have all heard the saying about throwing good money after bad.

Having a narcissist in your life can have you enacting this energetically. You will be tempted, almost constantly, to throw good energy in after the narcissist’s craziness.

You will attempt, after the narcissistic destruction, to use your good energy to clean up, clear up, prop up, dispose of, enlighten, change, recreate, reform, reformat, start over, begin again, cover up and/or conceal the mess made by the narcissist.

You will use your beautiful energy to attempt to transform the craziness that resulted from the narcissist’s need to crazy make.

How do I know this? I live this all the time with my stepkids. Their mother, in my estimation, demonstrates narcissistic behaviors. These have not improved over time.

Too often I feel compelled to somehow “fix” all the damage she has done. Throwing good energy after craziness.

In the past weeks, she has “accidentally” chopped off 4 inches of my stepdaughter’s hair.

Told the kids she will not be taking them on a vacation she has promised for 3 years now (they are holding out hope, as she told them “But we will go next year! I promise! “).

Had my stepson not turn in 1 assignment (literally) while he lives with her.

Taken my stepson to several medical specialists in the past weeks as she manifests her need to be seen as a “good mother” ( at least to medical personnel when all other sources for mirroring this for her have been destroyed). My stepson has manifested one psychosomatic issue after another in a desperate need to “keep Mommy” paying attention to him.

Good energy after the craziness- otherwise known as living with a narcissist.

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14 thoughts on “Throwing Good Energy after Craziness

  1. To live with a narcissist is a nightmare and I really hope, she doesn’t destroy the kids totally. I know, that you are doing your best to be the best Bonus-Mom they ever will get Kimberly. Kind thoughts at your way 🙂

  2. I’m still recovering from a friend who I suspect is a narcissist. I have maintained a no contact rule for almost a year now but sometimes I get this feeling that I should reach out to see how she’s doing. Sometimes I still question “my craziness” and if I’m delusional for the choices I make.

  3. I can relate, Kimberly… We do spend a vast amount of positive energy “cleaning up” the damage done to kids by an abusive parent. It is true to say that it is emotionally draining, and self-care is vital. (((Hugs))

  4. I can’t relate to the narcissism, but I think I can understand the emotional turmoil, how it must wear you out to fix or not fix, and even just the struggle of trying to decide!! (I may have to come back and tell you to delete this comment but…) I heard from Mr. T’s dad the other day, he wants to be involved, recognizes that he’s missed 17 years, etc., etc., and while there have only been 2 phone calls between us so far (not counting the first one that was pretty much the funniest story I can’t yet tell!), I was updating a friend and she goes “what a roller coaster! I’m glad you aren’t taking T along for that ride” I’ve decided, no we’ve decided (his father and I) that T is not to be told until his father has proven himself consistent. And that he can walk through the door this opportunity has opened. So yeah, it can wear you out dealing with the other parent – even when they are the biological!!

    • Thanks for this comment, Kate. I know your situation is different, but it is such a balancing act. Your words helped me realize that there can be space and balance found within the mix. On another note, my breath did catch when I first read this- that after 17 years he wants to be involved. In some ways, that idea can be so destabilizing for you, Mr T and the life you have built. I am not sure how it will all work out, Kate, but your awareness will be a guide for you.

      • Thank you Kim, I told him that I can’t promise anything other to be open and to try – and fortunately I have a couple of people in my life (like you and a few in real life) that can help me stay aware and make sure I am seeing what is, and not what I expect it to be!! 🙂

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