You think you Know….You don’t Know

Creation Myth

Creation Myth

Listening to some situations dealing with someone with narcissistic tendencies had the the old “Bo Knows” commercials running through my mind. They dealt with multi-sport athlete, Bo Jackson. In my mind, I heard the taglines “Bo knows” and “You don’t know Bo”.

And that second one played as a loop in my mind. For some reason, it spoke to me about what it is like when you have to deal with a narcissist and trying to convey the subtle (because that it what is so frightening about it) insanity involved.

“You don’t know” what it is like to hear someone tell you one thing, mean another thing, revert to the first thing, and mean yet something else.

“You don’t know” what it is like to be told story after story after story that looks SO GOOD on the surface, and be expected to both “see” and “unsee” the underpinnings holding that story together.

“You don’t know” what it is like to see “reality” and have to “adjust” your perception to survive.

“You don’t know” what it is like to see it all and have to tell nothing.

“You don’t know” what it is like to witness every sick manipulation in the book and be expected to participate as if it were all “understandable”.

“You don’t know” what it is like to be expected to live out a narrative that you know has no basis in reality.

“You don’t know” what it is like to carry the weight of telling lies to yourself so that another may live his or her lie-filled “truth”.

If you live with a narcissist or must interact with one, you do know. Don’t tell yourself that you don’t.

The picture above is called “Creation Myth”. Note the little figures hiding behind the created myth. These are the children and others of narcissists expected to keep the myth standing upright.


8 thoughts on “You think you Know….You don’t Know

      • It’s a daily battle. I’m getting stronger every day.. I’m not the same person which makes me angry at times. They turned my life, my mental and emotional upside down. I know healing from that relationship will take time. I just enjoy having peace and no stress…. I still get sucked in the circus from time to time, but I bounce back faster. It’s gotten really old. I can predict their actions and words before they happen.. Same script.. Lol. I think I’m really close to walking away and NEVER looking back. We definitely need to stick together. It helps talking to ppl that understand. 😊

  1. (1) Fuck. I clicked on the image after typing my comment but before posting it and, WordPress being WordPress, it’s gone. I’ll offer a slightly different version.

    We don’t need, per se, to interact with wanton abusers and the notion itself bespeaks a battered or ‘I am the victim’ mindset. Once an individual is identified as a wanton abuser it is important for the wronged party to not be a mere victim, for them to conceptualise and take steps to remove themselves from the clutches of that/those person/s. To do otherwise is to be complicit in one’s abuse, to lose dignity and give over the title of Man or Woman.

    I won’t offer quotes from Ian Malcom in Jurassic Park but consider them strongly implied. When extricating ourselves from the clutches of wanton abusers we can’t expect the process to be painless and should, instead, plan to minimise the pain while expecting to lose something of value. Why? This sort of positive movement simply can’t come without sacrifice, the wanton abusers will not let it, and if we aren’t prepared to lost something of value we will lose everything of value.

    What follows is a link to 2013’s Ashes of Happiness, Seeds of Hope ( The piece ‘The Choice’ is especially relevant here. When we know we must face The Choice: to choose whether to live and die on our own terms or to die, perhaps slowly or perhaps quickly, on the terms of another.

    (2) The new approach to your art is paying off. The thematic imagery is much stronger and clearer now. Your work is very strongly interpretive, of course, and it seems to me that is by design, but it’s less open to mere interpretation: there is a core that people are expected to find. That means that there is something worth saying and that’s the whole point of art. Keep it up.

  2. Dear Kimberly, what is really maddening is so very, very few Gospel preachers even approach this reality – and they can’t claim there’s nothing in the Bible concerning the horrific damage that narcs (either covertly or overtly) unleash upon individuals. There’s lots in Scripture – both testaments. And the preachers seem totally clueless – and then they wonder why people would rather sleep in on Sunday. Oh, could it be that people are too stressed (by maggot narcs) to think properly?

    • Oh, gosh, I busted out laughing at your final sentence…this is so true. In its truth, it really is not that funny, actually. Sometimes, I think religions foster narcissistic thinking….

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