Listening to some situations dealing with someone with narcissistic tendencies had the the old “Bo Knows” commercials running through my mind. They dealt with multi-sport athlete, Bo Jackson. In my mind, I heard the taglines “Bo knows” and “You don’t know Bo”.
And that second one played as a loop in my mind. For some reason, it spoke to me about what it is like when you have to deal with a narcissist and trying to convey the subtle (because that it what is so frightening about it) insanity involved.
“You don’t know” what it is like to hear someone tell you one thing, mean another thing, revert to the first thing, and mean yet something else.
“You don’t know” what it is like to be told story after story after story that looks SO GOOD on the surface, and be expected to both “see” and “unsee” the underpinnings holding that story together.
“You don’t know” what it is like to see “reality” and have to “adjust” your perception to survive.
“You don’t know” what it is like to see it all and have to tell nothing.
“You don’t know” what it is like to witness every sick manipulation in the book and be expected to participate as if it were all “understandable”.
“You don’t know” what it is like to be expected to live out a narrative that you know has no basis in reality.
“You don’t know” what it is like to carry the weight of telling lies to yourself so that another may live his or her lie-filled “truth”.
If you live with a narcissist or must interact with one, you do know. Don’t tell yourself that you don’t.
The picture above is called “Creation Myth”. Note the little figures hiding behind the created myth. These are the children and others of narcissists expected to keep the myth standing upright.