Where do Abused Children turn for Help?

Rising Above

Rising Above

I have noted a situation as of late asking me to confront some naivete on my part.
I used to think that all children who are being abused or traumatized had to do was ask for help and they would receive it. I thought that child abuse has been so brought to our attention that champions awaited in the wings ready to swoop in.

I have been surprised to learn otherwise.

For both my stepchildren, I have wanted to get them counseling.

When I have contacted counselors, I have been told they would be unwilling to see the children unless both parents agreed.

What abusive parent is going to agree to counseling for the abused child? C’mon. It’s in the abusive parents BEST INTEREST to keep the child suffering and hurt- that is the goal of the abuse.

The abusive parent is getting exactly what he or she needs from the child- a vulnerable target for his or her abuse, anger, rage, and manipulations.

I understand the counselors being unwilling to see a child without parental consent, but I truly think if one, healthy, engaged adult in the child’s life is calling out for help that someone would help.

It seems the cards are so stacked in the abusive parents favor.

And, then there is the subtle (and not so subtle) manipulation and expectation put on the abused child that IF THE ABUSED CHILD WOULD JUST CHANGE (for the better) THAN THE ABUSE WOULD STOP.

Are you kidding me? I see this ALL the time with my stepson. Everyone constantly telling him that if he were “better”, his Mom would love him more.

I hear others tell him, “She is your Mom, you need to respect her.”

To which I respond at the top of my lungs (and from a top of a mountain if I could climb it) that HE IS HER SON AND SHE NEEDS TO LOVE AND RESPECT HIM.

At time like this, I am reminded again how large and strong a Mama Bear persona stalks within me.

Sometimes we get things a** backwards in our focus and understanding. This is one of them.

If 1/10th of the pressure were put upon my stepson’s Mom to treat him with love and respect as has been put upon him, then maybe there would be a chance for success.

If counselors were more worried that a caring adult was worried about abuse of a child and stepped in, then maybe there would be a chance for success.

You don’t solve problems by focusing on the wrong end.


12 thoughts on “Where do Abused Children turn for Help?

  1. That just doesn’t seem right, Kim. I called child protective services once when I worked in a school…I was ‘softly’ warned that it wasn’t a good idea by my employer…and CPS did NOTHING!! I was very disillusioned. ..and very disappointed. Hang in there and continue to be a champion for those children…they will never forget it!!

    • I am so glad you shared this Lorrie. You get exactly what I am getting at. Children need our support and AWARENESS.- we need to be aware of their situation when they can not express it themselves.

      • I think I am more aware because I was the child that begged for help…and I not only didn’t get help..but there was one adult who knew my home situation and took advantage of it and me …in an incredibly wrong way. I have been considering requesting a meeting with this man (I serendipitously received contact information for him a few years ago) but so far I have not had that courage. But I will!! Meanwhile…I try to help every child I can!! Love to you and your soul for protecting children!! β™‘

  2. Where in our world do you live Kim? In many countries there are possibility to get help for those kids, we just need to find the way. I would like to try to help you, if I can.
    You are doing all good for your bonus kids πŸ™‚

  3. This is a tough one! your efforts with the children will pay off in both the short and long terms. stay strong and watchful

  4. Pingback: Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake | From guestwriters

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