The Knife Edge of Narcissism

Narcissists at their core are sadistic.
Do not lie to yourself about this, and do not allow
others to tell you otherwise for convenience.

Narcissists are skilled workers of the knife’s edge-
listen to the their words- and you miss the action of the blade
as it slices in two.

—–
I follow many blogs about narcissism and I, of course, post my own on the topic here and there. One thing that always concerns me is the (sometimes) flippant idea that one should simply eliminate the narcissist from one’s life (this is not realistic for all). Those who give such advice, without an awareness of the context, only create further a sense of isolation and failure for the victim of a narcissist.

For those who experience narcissistic abuse, it can be difficult to find the vocabulary to express how terrifying and horrible it really is.

Why do words fail? Because the narcissist has often commandeered the vocabulary. Narcissists often speaks the “right” words as a set-up for their culminating destructive act.

Those who interact with narcissists have learned to read the terrifying messages between the lines and lips of the narcissist.

And in between those lines, even amongst the finest lines, the sadism of the narcissist will lurk. Narcissists are not satisfied with the “quick kill” – the sense of triumphant and control is not the the initial knife hit, it is in the twisting of the knife with very, very specific words known to impact the victim.

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8 thoughts on “The Knife Edge of Narcissism

  1. I was watching a program hosted by David Copperfield (Brain Games on NatGeo) explaining how magicians use misdirection to manipulate their audience’s attention. As I watched the show, I couldn’t help but use the information to help draw an analogy of what it is the narcissist does to trick us into hearing one thing while his/her agenda is something different. It was a fascinating episode and proof that ANYONE and EVERYONE can be and are fooled. (I often think those who claim they aren’t affected by narcissists don’t even realize they’ve been manipulated. I guess if they want to live in denial, it’s their choice. 🙂 ) Here’s a link to a segment of the show: http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/brain-games/videos/brain-games-with-david-copperfield/

    • Paula, I am so glad you posted this. Sorry for not responding as soon as I read it. You get exactly what I was trying to say in the post- there is intentional distraction so no one really sees what is going on- the victim, though, is already on high alert as he or she has been manipulated so often. So grateful you shared this!

      • Ladies, i’m so grateful to BOTHof YOU for commenting on this the way you both did. You BOTH validate ME! I’m 54 now, divorced from an 18 year marriage to whom I believed to be the LOVE of my Lifetime! My SOLE MATE Finally! Needless to say, that’s not what it was at all. They are excellent Actors, Con men and women, pathological liars, doing very well in court as I’ve read many times. They lie so well they can and do pass lie detector tests. They RRIN evertything in the path of whatever next “shiny new thing” is in their way, emotionally, physically, financially, socially, should I go on?? My divorce was final 8/2013. All that it really meant was final was our marriage and anything of worth was his, along with no law enforcement in his back pocket like some kind of nightmare. One that includes him succeeding in smearing my name and reputation that was spotless into an overly traumatized and emotional hurricane that I’ve been left in with Dr’s and professionals all in agreement that the last 2 years have gained me an nearly disabling form of Complex PTSD that i’m still learning about each and every day. My own family has disowned me and I’ve had to back away for my own health. It’s the worst thing that’s happened and had slowly been rolling downhill for most of the 18 year marriage. Now it’s completely ran me over and left me for dead at the hand of ouf court system as well. I’m just starting to try harder to walk outside of the place I had to rent after losing my home of 24 years in 7/2012 to foreclosure. He decided no more payments were coming from him as he moved from woman to woman. Or victim to victim, as they’re referred to. Waiting to still FEEL some kind of healing. People do not and will not believe this exists in ouf society. What a ghastly mistake they’rs making. Best to both of you.

  2. A good point, Kimberly. Sometimes, “no contact” is not possible and people are unfortunately forced into interacting with narcissists. I have read advice on how to deal with narcissists (as I’m sure you have, too) and have found most of it to be unhelpful.

    Take care. 💙

  3. Kim…thanks for your insights into this type of behavior and the consequences of it, you always seem to ‘get to the core’ of the behavior. Understanding behaviors can save a person a life-time of grief. thanks for showing the core of such behaviors.

  4. I agree too ~ to eliminate all narcissists (and in the new-age forum, all negative people): you pretty much need to eliminate 80% of the people you interact with which includes relatives / friends / work colleagues. The bigger picture is necessary. Learning about their behaviour (as you point out) and being very aware of it at all times. The old: listen to what they say but watch what they do … And always, always, always, protecting our personal boundaries as much as possible.

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