I like to always refer to any narcissist as a “favorite narcissist”. It makes them feel special. They are so easily plied that way.
To keep from drowning themselves, any narcissist will stand upon the shoulders/body/head/spiritual Being of another in order to keep their own head above water.
If you happen to drown beneath the narcissist’s feet- well, so be it, according to the narcissist- at least he or she is safe, and really that is all that matters, right?
In therapy I realized what a profound difference this is between narcissists and non-narcissists.
I am always seeking to raise another up. I seem to say, “Here let me stand in this water. I will hold you up so you can reach for the Light, I don’t want you to get your feet wet.”
Not the narcissist. Nope. If it were between you and them, they would push you face first in the water and grind you into the sand beneath.
This whole awareness was prompted by sitting through a 75 minute parent/teacher/student conference in regards to my stepson’s behaviors. It is 75 minutes of my life I will not get back.
The gift, though, was I got to play witness. I got to see the dynamic between he and his Mom and his Mom and authority figures.
She is much more worried about herself than him. She now frequently tells him he doesn’t need to do certain things in school because “Mommy said…”
She beautifully positions him, as most narcissists attempt to do, in the ultimate battle- “Choose me and no other.”
He listens to his Mom or he listens to the school’s authority.
How much do you think he is feeling he is going under?