It is probably my posts on narcissism which bring the most self-doubt to me as a writer. I wonder compared to the other topics I discuss if narcissism just doesn’t fit. Yet, I continue to get comments about prior narcissism blogs and how they have helped and provided some insights.
So, if my pain can truly be your gain- then I will continue to write about this topic 🙂
An insight I have had recently is that to “function” with your favorite narcissist, you must get to the point in which you truly see YOUR LIFE as bigger, more important, more needing of your time, attention, love, and compassion as compared to how you see the life of the narcissist.
A narcissist can be SO consuming, in both large and small ways, their lives truly begin to assume a proportion larger than life- well, especially larger than yours or mine.
With a narcissist, with any bit of information, time, or space, your thoughts will immediately be drawn to them and how they are affected before even a single neuron in your brain lights up with the idea that you matter too.
There are many reasons for this- one of the primary being the survival instinct that begins to take over if you spend any time at all with narcissists. You begin to engage in life in a very basic manner— stimulus (whatever may affect the narcissist) and your response—crisis management in relation to the narcissist.
In some ways, to overcome interacting with a narcissist, you must be willing to recondition yourself.
The art image above is a symbol which has helped me in the past days. When I need to interact with a narcissist, I envision the image above. I view MY life as the larger frame (square) in the picture and the narcissist’s life as the smaller of the two.
It’s a play on mirrors and the distorted reflections that arise when dealing with a narcissist.
You must always, always remember that your life is bigger, more important, and more worthy of your time, energy, and attention than the life of the narcissist.
Will this be difficult? For some, yes. Will this go against every instinct you have? For some, yes. Is it necessary? For all, yes.
Dealing with a narcissist is a survival of the fittest. A narcissist loves to make you feel and look small.
Don’t fall for a narcissist’s view of your life in proportion to theirs.
Look at the image above- your Life is the bigger of the two squares- believe it.