There is Always an Age

Motherhood Absent

Motherhood Absent

There is a particular age of a child that strikes me with a tip, most pointed.
A child of this age reminds me of my child-less state with poignant accuracy.
I do not know why this is.
A child a year or two older had no such effect, nor a young newborn.

There is simply something about a certain age when I glimpse it-
the grocery store, a piano recital-
that surrounds me with awareness that in the world of children, I have borne none.

Do not get me wrong. I do not regret the chain of events that coalesced into this space,
nor do I carry a burden upon my Being.

I am only saying that in those moments, a child embodies for me, what I had believed
I had forgotten.

And I am blessed to be reminded of the paths we choose, and those not chosen.

We do not get to walk on each and every one- to be on one, often means to not be on another.


13 thoughts on “There is Always an Age

  1. Like Frost’s poem ‘The Road Not Taken.’
    Just out of metaphysical curiosity, I wonder if there was an event in your life when you were the age of the child you mention, buried in your subconscious somewhere? Know any hypno-therapists?

  2. I also have no children but am drawn to certain kids – the ones who shine brightly when the world is full of possibilities!
    Perhaps it isn’t in your thinking Kim, but a heart felt connection with your own inner child at a certain age.
    Val x

  3. I find that children about 2 to 3 years old send a sharp pain through my heart. That was the age that we found out that our youngest had Aspergers. It was awhile later that we found out that our oldest son has it also. I think it is just my remembering how our children were at that age in comparison to what they should have been able to do.

    I never knew that this happened to others.

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