Sometimes for reasons only known to the themselves, a narcissist suddenly stops.
I don’t mean they stop belittling, demeaning, being angry, judging others and basically causing out and out chaos that is their domain.
I mean they stop, literally, their efforts in certain areas.
Do you know the saying, “Fake it until you make it”?
Well, the narcissist’s entire life is “faking it” and sometimes, narcissists eventually reach the point in which they no longer hold that standard of faking it.
The narcissist for all intents and purposes is simply “done”.
No one knows why this sudden turn of events. Normally the narcissist is very, very motivated to keep up a good facade with no substance. But, at some point I guess, the narcissist feels even putting up a facade is simply too much effort.
And not only that, the narcissist views him or herself SO superior to everyone that he or she of course should not even be required to fake it anymore.
The energy for maintaining the narcissist’s superior image then will no longer be upon them to maintain the facade. The image-making falls to all of us, who despite the narcissist quitting and no longer trying, are supposed to act as if the narcissist is still wonderful and fully-engaged.
Basically the facade-making is put upon all bystanders.
If someone were to point out that it seems the narcissist has quit and the facade is in a bit of disarray and needs a touch-up, he or she will be confronted with the narcissist’s rage. How dare anyone, anyone! point out the shortcomings of the narcissist.
We are all told to simply play along.
This post was inspired by the favorite narcissist in my life- the mother of my stepchildren. My stepson requires much, much help to get through school. His mother, though, it seems has just decided to stop. We had a parent-teacher conference a month or so ago, and well, I guess his Mom is simply too tired to keep up the facade anymore that she is an engaged, proactive parent.
Really, it is mid-November after all, and she has been trying for months now. Mommy needs a break and we all just need to understand that.
To my favorite narcissist – I simply say this- I see you and I see all that you do (or don’t do). And I see how you just quit on your son. And that, in my world, dear narcissist, no matter how much complaining and rearranging of facts you attempt, will never do.