Stepparenting in Two Sentences

Can't see You

Can’t see You

Parents have authority.
Stepparents have suggestions.

Just a few words of what it is like to be a stepparent. πŸ™‚

The words and dynamics are quite true. Despite my being an educator and with what some would say is great awareness of my stepchildren, my thoughts and ideas are relegated to the “suggestion box” of life, while it is assumed the biological parents, having participated in conception, hold the some magical understanding of the children and life dynamics.

I am not complaining, simply observing, the life of a stepparent.


19 thoughts on “Stepparenting in Two Sentences

  1. Step parenting seems to me very challenging but I would say that step parents also have the authority, I think that it also applies to parents that it is not whether you have the authority but how do you go about it.

    • I don’t think stepparents have true authority. They have input and influence, yes, but the authority resides with the parents. I do agree, though, it comes down to effective use of authority in any case. And, at the heart of it all should be love for the child πŸ™‚

  2. With or without authority, isn’t it being loved the most important thing for anyone to grow? And this love can come from parents, step-parents, siblings, friends, animals… that become our models; may be it is much later in life we know which influence has counted more for us… I think πŸ™‚

  3. Now, I’ve never been married, and Mr. T doesn’t have a father that’s ever been involved, but I can tell you right now everyone else’s thoughts and ideas are relegated to the suggestion box! I have never had to think about it, and probably never will, but as soon as I read this it hit me, apparently having participated in the conception did give me magical powers!

    • Okay, this had me laughing out loud!!!My stepdaughter actually asked what was so funny. I guess all parents have a mental “suggestion box” where the rest of the world’s input is filed πŸ™‚

      • Well, I thought I was an open person, until I read this post, and then I was almost afraid to admit it – but yeah, I have a mental “suggestion box”!! I had no idea!

        Fortunately, I’m pretty well balanced, so I don’t think my having a suggestion box means that the suggestions I receive aren’t valid or worthy, and I hope that I show my son that it’s good to consider others input! πŸ™‚

        At least I really, really hope so!

      • Knowing you Kate- you have met every “suggestion” with kindness and compassion. You may not have followed it, but you were likely open to listening. Your comment actually helped me so much. I take not being “listened to” so personally as a stepparent. You truly helped me realize that it likely has nothing to do with me and this is how parents operate πŸ™‚ I really mean that- I can feel my stress lowering by several degrees.

  4. Magical conception? That is funny, your absolutely right. Some people can’t see what’s literally right in front of them, it’s so much easier to blame someone or something else. I hope it gets better, I am sorry your feelings were hurt, because they do matter, you have their best interest at heart as well.


    • I do have their best interest at heart and your comment helped me to remember that! πŸ™‚ it is funny, though, biological parents assume (completely) that they know best because they conceived the child. such a sense of power:)

      • Your “people” must have issues, (like mine), my feelings are if my children are happy what do I care? My ex’s 2nd wife loved my children, the new ex wife to be, they hate, so there is conflict. My boyfriends daughter, loves me, his ex, hates me, the daughter told her mother “I know daddy’s girlfriend would drop everything and come get me at school”, she’s 15. What is wrong with the adults? Are the afraid they won’t be “Mom” or “Dad”, because of someone else? I don’t want to be “the parent”, nor will I ever, that’s you, I am just happy, being in their life. Also, stop manipulating my babies, it’s not cool, and your an adult why would you do that? Am I the only one who is faced with these dilemmas, because I am ready to pack my kids up to my ex-husband and say, you cause them to much stress, (and it’s making me miserable), good luck.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s