The “Do Good-er” Approach to Narcissism

Wise Men

Wise Men

This picture was prompted by a comment to one of my blogs. The comment was by a fellow blogger (check out her work) in reference to my blog about being the editorial assistant to a narcissist.

Her comment simply said something along the lines of seeing an image of her “May I help you?” button in dealing with these types. Why do we think we may be able to help, inspire, or encourage those who are quite fine existing in their world of narcissistic manipulations and shenanigans?

I am not sure she actually intended me to create some art around this, but I could not get the idea out of my mind.

As you know, my art is very free form at this time and in response to my prompt “What would my ‘May I help you?’ button look like when it is not truly helpful but rather somewhat compulsive?” And the above picture appeared.

It had me laughing.

On the right end, I see an enlightened being. There is a blue (spiritual) circle over the third eye. She (he) is wrapped in a cocoon of peace and balance. ( I once commented to my therapist that did she know you could have your kundalini rise simply by sitting? I am compulsively driven to move, so this insight was profound to me. It was less profound to her, when she responded, “Well, yes. Think of the 1,000 of years of history of meditation.” Point taken.)

ON the left side is a being in darkness. They are also wrapped up, but do not have a circle over their third eye. They are fine with where they are at, even in though they sit in some darkness.

And there I am, the “man” in the middle, scurrying back and forth between these Beings. Carrying a “beverage” (the light of awareness) from the Being of Light (on the right) to the Being on the Left. Back and forth, back and forth, I will scurry in an attempt “to help”.

Two Beings and a “do good-er”.

I am expending all this energy with my “Let me help you” approach, when in actuality the being on the left, in the darkness, is more than fine just sitting there. And the enlightened Being on the Right is aware enough to simply let this be.

Let this be a lesson to me- to help those who are only willing to receive 🙂 (Of course, I mean that in the best possible way. I always want to assist others. I just liked how this art manifested and its message that we should be calling on our Highest Selves and moving with wisdom when we attempt to “help”. )

And let’s be honest- most narcissists are not looking for help in the form of the “light of awareness”. They would much prefer we simply join them in the dark.

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12 thoughts on “The “Do Good-er” Approach to Narcissism

  1. I love this piece, I cannot pinpoint exactly why it is so powerful to me. Perhaps I was a do-gooder, perhaps I had the arrogance and the refusal to see some people are not like me, they do not want to be helped and they would as you state eloquently state they would prefer you join them in darkness. Well done!

  2. I do see a happy inner child in the light and a grumpy grown-up in the shade. So you are suggesting we caretakers carry cups of “hot love” from the light to the shadow. Hmm. I am not ashamed to be in that role; however, as you have written and drawn before, a narcissist is a bottomless pit of need. I could never bring him enough cups of warm “tea” to make him feel warmth and he preferred being grumpy.
    In your opinion, do you think we human beings are meant to be like the self-contained figure on the right? I feel uncomfortable with that. Maybe I can be a little of both the Caretaker and the One Who Accepts Situations Just As They Are?
    Naah. I could never let go that much!
    Thank you for more beautiful art and for the holla to my blog.

  3. No truer statement than your final one here. Once we realize and accept that, we can save ourselves so much energy…it’s never a bad thing to be a do-gooder, but directing to the right places and people is so important.

  4. Yes, very very true: “And let’s be honest- most narcissists are not looking for help in the form of the “light of awareness”. They would much prefer we simply join them in the dark.” I know from personal experience. I always fine myself nodding and saying great when I read your posts. Always nice to read.

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