The answer to Narcissist Questions is “Yes!”

One of the issues when you are interacting with a narcissist is the sense of disbelief, self-reflection, conundrums, and basic confusion that such interactions elicit.

Often we try to explain away the behaviors because we literally can’t believe someone would act this way.

We can become lost in a maze of reflections and conversations with ourselves and others as we try to “figure” this out. A certain sense of denial pervades as we witness one abnormal behavior after another.

In reality we may be better served with simplicity and directness. When you ask yourself general questions about a narcissist’s behavior, you can cut through a tremendous amount of B.S. by answering honestly.

The questions you may ask yourself in relation to a narcissist follow below, along with the most honest, heartfelt answers.

Can a narcissist possibly be this self-centered? Yes!

Can a narcissist have such little regard for others? Yes!

Can a narcissist lie consistently and blatantly to you face? Yes!
Even though you have court-worthy evidence showing the truth? Why, Yes!, of course. (“Evidence” is relative to a narcissist.)

Can a narcissist show time and again that your needs don’t matter? Yes! (Actually, what needs could you possible have?)

Can a narcissist act as if everything is totally your fault? Yes!
Always? Yes! (…and forever)

Can a narcissist truly favor one child over another? Yes!

Can a narcissist consistently scream at you “You don’t understand!” as if you had the mental capabilities of a 5-year-old? Most definitely, Yes!

Can a narcissist take your money and feel as if it were theirs for the taking anyway? Yes! (What is yours is theirs. Always.)

Can a narcissist cheat on you and somehow make it all your problem? Yes!

Can a narcissist possibly have no boundaries in regards to the sacredness of the journey of another’s life? Yes! (You were just in the way, a bump on the road, of the narcissist’s glorious parade.)

Can a narcissist say the most belittling and demeaning things to you and feel no desire to apologize afterwards? Yes! (Apologies only serve one purpose to a narcissist- to get more of what he or she wants.)

Can a narcissist possibly manipulate EVERY life situation so they are the center? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Stop wasting time analyzing a narcissist’s behavior and get over your shock and awe that he or she is doing whatever it they are doing.

The simple answer to whether the narcissist will likely commit the most egregious of behaviors is simply “Yes, yes, they will.”

Chant it in a circle, hum it as a mantra.

The answer doesn’t solve the problem, but it is quick acknowledgment of what to expect and how to prepare.

Only one person should ever be participating in the fantasy world of the narcissist- and that is the narcissist him or herself. One is enough. Two is a crowd in this situation.

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36 thoughts on “The answer to Narcissist Questions is “Yes!”

  1. Yeah, sooner or later comes a point where you either say ”enough is enough” or you start being on medication in order to deal with someone else’s mental disorder.

  2. Yes, yes, and yes. Excellent questions. Appropriate (and only) answers. This I will share with a sister who after being married to one for 26 years, finally acknowledged and did what she needed to do — given all the yeses.

      • She could not be happier and more free, Kim. She paid a long, painful price yet extracted herself. So many of we who love her are thrilled. She’s already embarked on her next, new life. Thank you for your kind expression about her well being.

  3. Reblogged this on Rants and Runs and commented:
    I needed to read this today. It pretty much sums the insanity that has been coming down on me the last few weeks. The “I die, you die” situation is getting old. The only thing I might change here is the title “narcissist”. It gives a bully too much credit. “Arse-issist” is more like it…I don’t know who to credit that term too, I saw it on someone else’s blog recently (if it’s you let me know so I can credit you.)

    I’m still here. And I’m not going anywhere.

    Incidentally, I changed up my runs this week and started spin classes. Was reaching a plateau and a girlfriend got me to go. Awesome instructor…inspirational quote while I was dying on the bike today: “It’s not 80% in your head, it’s 90%. No excuses, except the ones you make”. The arse-issist may try and fill that 10% of my headspace, but that other 90%? It’s mine.

  4. As usual you hit the nail on the head. It’s amazing how many times I have asked myself these questions over the past couple of years. The answer is always a resounding YES! However, if a little time passes without too much crazy-making from her, I get off my guard for one minute (how easily I forget). I start thinking the narcissist in my life can be reasoned with! Silly me.

    • I do the same thing. I am so ever hopeful that the narcissist is on the path of growth and awareness. When i reality there is one sign after another that nothing has changed. Good luck to you!

  5. I laughed the whole way through this as it is just so accurate and very funny! And let’s face it sometimes the behavior is so preposterous that all you can do is actually laugh. I published my true story about my narcissist Ben on amazon in April and included many amusing moments in the book but there were so many many more painful moments – I wanted to share both with people as a way of helping others to get out of the madness long before I did. We all know about the disbelief and confusion that sucks years from your life, while you try to work out whether they really are that mad, bad and dangerous. Thanks for the laugh Kimberley, just what I needed today as I am trying to finish part two and reading my journal all over again had put me right back into the darkness! Keep up the fabulous work.

    Susan Williams

    • Hi Susan, I am so glad you wrote and liked the post. I just downloaded a sample of your book, so I am very glad you mentioned it.
      I like what you said about trying to include humorous moments- when in reality, so much of this is so very painful. I find humor to be a defense mechanism for me.

      I poke fun at the situation because otherwise it seems so overwhelming. but, also, of course, narcissists are so ridiculous sometimes that you just have to laugh.

      Good luck on your second book!

      • Hi Kimberley
        Thanks so much for replying, I appreciate it – and thanks for downloading the book – that means a lot to me! Let me know what you think – I will also download yours. The second part of the story is quite painful as I get more embroiled and eventually start having to face the cold hard facts but I will share a funny moment from it – at one point Ben pointed to his legs after he had done a workout and said, ‘Look at these legs, aren’t they fabulous!’
        Now I know he was semi joking but at the same time I know he was quite serious!

        Thanks again.
        Susan

      • Susan – I so understand the “semi-joke” that is not really a joke at all…. Can’t wait to read your book. We learn so much in our processing of these situations. Good luck to you.

  6. If you are reading the above and can relate to any of it, get out, move on and start living again – great article. It took me some time to realise but better late than never!!!!

  7. Reblogged this on An Upturned Soul and commented:
    Great post!
    .
    From a great blog!
    .
    Answers all your questions about Narcissists… in a way… which is useful for you!
    Rather than making things all about them… this makes things all about you!
    Beautiful and healing twist!
    Flipping things around with style!
    Trying to figure out NPD, those who have it and how they affect you and everyone else… what is what, who is who, and so on can be confusing… because confusion is an intrinsic part of NPD. For those who have it and those who interact with those who have it.
    Sometimes it’s worth exploring the confusion to understand it… and sometimes it is best to simplify. Cut the Gordian Knot of confusion with a sword rather than try to untangle and untie it!.

  8. Yes yes…nicely said. Bewildering buggers especially to the loving and compassionate…and although morally minuscule they can do real damage like a like viral infection…only known anecdote is love.

  9. Definitely the right answer! Then there are those whom the narcissist tries to align with (flying monkeys). The monkey tries to penetrate the wall of protection and get us to once again question the truth…*sigh

  10. Great post, thank you. For me it feels as it fills a void, and one very much in need of filling! It made me laugh at the ‘absurdity’ (though understandable of course) of one’s trying so hard to make sense out of it, -there is none! Yes IS the answer, -It was there all along! 😉

    • I know- you have no idea how much time I have wasted trying to figure these types of people out, when in actuality, they are quite obvious in what they are doing. I just don’t want to believe it.

  11. Haha yes, I can imagine ;-). Actually in one of my first posts on the topic in Ursula’s blog I wondered whether that is exactly where they get us, playing chess against ourselves, so how can one win?! We checkmate ourselves! And why do we play with them? Because we think the game (relationship) is real, that they are real, until someone (like you did in this post) points out, no need to play, noone’s sitting across 😉

  12. Pingback: How To Handle A Narcissist–Part Two | Wordsmithing Ain't Easy

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