One of the issues when you are interacting with a narcissist is the sense of disbelief, self-reflection, conundrums, and basic confusion that such interactions elicit.
Often we try to explain away the behaviors because we literally can’t believe someone would act this way.
We can become lost in a maze of reflections and conversations with ourselves and others as we try to “figure” this out. A certain sense of denial pervades as we witness one abnormal behavior after another.
In reality we may be better served with simplicity and directness. When you ask yourself general questions about a narcissist’s behavior, you can cut through a tremendous amount of B.S. by answering honestly.
The questions you may ask yourself in relation to a narcissist follow below, along with the most honest, heartfelt answers.
Can a narcissist possibly be this self-centered? Yes!
Can a narcissist have such little regard for others? Yes!
Can a narcissist lie consistently and blatantly to you face? Yes!
Even though you have court-worthy evidence showing the truth? Why, Yes!, of course. (“Evidence” is relative to a narcissist.)
Can a narcissist show time and again that your needs don’t matter? Yes! (Actually, what needs could you possible have?)
Can a narcissist act as if everything is totally your fault? Yes!
Always? Yes! (…and forever)
Can a narcissist truly favor one child over another? Yes!
Can a narcissist consistently scream at you “You don’t understand!” as if you had the mental capabilities of a 5-year-old? Most definitely, Yes!
Can a narcissist take your money and feel as if it were theirs for the taking anyway? Yes! (What is yours is theirs. Always.)
Can a narcissist cheat on you and somehow make it all your problem? Yes!
Can a narcissist possibly have no boundaries in regards to the sacredness of the journey of another’s life? Yes! (You were just in the way, a bump on the road, of the narcissist’s glorious parade.)
Can a narcissist say the most belittling and demeaning things to you and feel no desire to apologize afterwards? Yes! (Apologies only serve one purpose to a narcissist- to get more of what he or she wants.)
Can a narcissist possibly manipulate EVERY life situation so they are the center? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Stop wasting time analyzing a narcissist’s behavior and get over your shock and awe that he or she is doing whatever it they are doing.
The simple answer to whether the narcissist will likely commit the most egregious of behaviors is simply “Yes, yes, they will.”
Chant it in a circle, hum it as a mantra.
The answer doesn’t solve the problem, but it is quick acknowledgment of what to expect and how to prepare.
Only one person should ever be participating in the fantasy world of the narcissist- and that is the narcissist him or herself. One is enough. Two is a crowd in this situation.