A Stitch in Time saves Little to Nothing with a Narcissist

Healing Heart

Healing Heart

I remember it was my Mom who used to say, “A stitch in time saves nine.”

The pace of the saying stayed with me, although I never really reflected on its meaning too much – that is until someone with narcissistic tendencies entered my life.

“A stitch in time saves nine” simply means that to address a problem immediately when it is still likely small saves time, energy, and aggravation later. Don’t place the first stitch in a timely manner and you will end up confronting a bigger hole (problem) in time.

Because I am such a time conscious and proactive, problem-solving type of person, this could be a life mantra for me. And this has been wonderful, until a narcissist entered my life.

Unconsciously, like me, you may operate under the “A stitch in time saves nine” principal in life.

You plan, you strategize, you evaluate, you anticipate, and you engage on problems and issues. You, in fact, may consider the above list to be a successful approach to life and be proud of yourself for your ability to meet life’s challenges in such a healthy manner.

Sadly, this type of approach will be wasted if you are interacting with a narcissist.

A stitch in time saves little to nothing with a narcissist.

If you interact with someone with narcissistic tendencies you may have begun to realize, similar to many things that apply to life with a narcissist, that sayings, ideas, thought processes that work well with everyone else fail in the face of narcissism.

There are ALWAYS holes that need repairing when a narcissist is involved. Narcissists are so limited developmentally that it is impossible for there not to be gaping holes in their lives. It may be in the area of finances, fidelity, child raising, and of course, always, interpersonal skills.

You, dutiful person that you are, will sense these holes and think “I will place a stitch here and there to shore up and repair this area.”

And right behind you, stitch for stitch, the narcissist will be pulling them apart leaving the hole gaping.

Not only will the single problem, hole, be left gaping, so will your sense of wholeness. It can be despondency-inducing to have your best efforts, not only not met with equal care and consideration, but also be undermined right in front of your face.

You place the stitch; the narcissist removes it. You place the stitch; the narcissist removes it.

In my own situation, I do not have any answers for this dynamic, other than my faith that knowledge and awareness is a means to wholeness, even if they do not solve the problem directly.

I write what I experience and the words become the stitches in some ways, but in this format they can not be removed.

For the awareness and insights are mine and though they may not heal the problem, they heal me.


11 thoughts on “A Stitch in Time saves Little to Nothing with a Narcissist

  1. what a perfect way to describe involvement with a narcissist! Yes, they pull that stitch and sometimes leave an even bigger hole. I’ve always said they have Terminal Adolescence. Great Post!

  2. Reblogged this on Children Of Light. and commented:
    Every once in a while, I like to post something very different from my usual spiritual type posts. This post made me smile. I love the on-going posts about “The narcissist” as blogged by Soul Healing Art. Her posts really resonate with me, having met more than a few mirror huggers in my time. ha! Ohhhh Kay! lets have it… “A Stitch in time saves Little to Nothing with a Narcissist.” bravo! eve

  3. I know this experience: “You place the stitch; the narcissist removes it. You place the stitch; the narcissist removes it.” I always love coming here and reading your perspective on dealing with narcissism. Truly, it has helped me on so many levels. It is extremely important for others to know all this before they too go through similar experiences. Thank you, again.

  4. What a creative approach to speaking about the experience of a narcissist. I just wrote my first blog about my experience with an N, which was painful, but has also set me free. The best you can do is leave the N. behind and stitch a wild and fabulous pattern for yourself that cannot be undone by anyone! Great post, thank you!

    • I am so glad you came across my blog. Thanks for your comment and I am thrilled to hear you are blogging about your experience. After interacting with a narcissist, in any capacity, we need the opportunity to interact with mirrors which are not so horribly distorted. I wish you well 🙂

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