Momma Lost Her Head and Found it Blogging

HeadLess

HeadLess

As some of you read in an earlier blog, Slings and Arrows, we have been experiencing a bit of family dynamics recently.

As I was messing around with some pastel fragments, a few shapes emerged on the paper. I saw a reflecting pool/water pool and standing over it a headless monster.

And I somehow resonated with that figure- in a good way.

After being told I was not joyous and made other in the family feel uncomfortable, I felt others saw me as this headless (meaning lacking understanding and insights) monster rambling through the house, leaving a wake of joyless-ness and uncomfortable-ness in her wake.

Children and others would run screaming in the face of this headless beast. πŸ™‚

Of course, I am nothing like this headless monster figure, although it was fun to play with the idea. It made it less hurtful, more ridiculous, and a way to have an image of this absurd dynamic.

The reflecting pool in the image is my need to “see” myself clearly. Despite the labels flung at me recently, I don’t see myself in the ways others have projected upon me.

In the image, I am the monster heading towards the pool- because that is where I will finally “see” myself. My own reflections are what matters, not the strange distortions laid upon me by others. (For those of you readers with an analytical mind who are reading this and thinking, “How would a headless monster be able to see anything, let along a reflection in a pool?”, I have no answer for you. It’s art, it’s an image and it works for me- details be damned. πŸ™‚ )

In some ways, as I looked at this headless monster and my role of stepmom in the family, I realized the reflecting pool, the place I was once again “seen” truly, was in the blogging world.

You have NO idea how much all of your comments, insights and support have helped me. Truly, you don’t. YOu gave this Momma her sense of self ( her head) back and enabled the monster to be seen for what it was- a figment of someone’s imagination.

I don’t know about you, but when I post blogs like I have in the past days, I am very worried about coming off as whiny and self-pitying. But the insights I received back changed this image I held about these blogs. They were messages to myself and others about finding one’s way in life.

It is not always pretty and yes, perhaps, some days, I am a bit monster-like when I am fatigued and overwhelmed- but headless, I have never been. This Momma’s got her head back.

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20 thoughts on “Momma Lost Her Head and Found it Blogging

  1. I like when you are honest, also about the bad things. We should not cover up in false glitter, better to be ourselves πŸ™‚ I don’ t think you are monster-like, I just think you are sensitive, and I think you are driven by emotions, and that makes you vulnerable, but in a beautiful way. How can anyone be an artist if they are not open and honest ? You honesty and your emotions are your strenght πŸ™‚ ❀

    • I love your comment about “false glitter”. We should avoid this. Actually, if I can be honest- your words brought tears to my eyes. You are right-= I am sensitive and driven by emotions- I like these parts of me. THank you for helping me realize them.

      • πŸ™‚ I like those parts of you as well! πŸ™‚ I think they make you extra beautiful! πŸ™‚ ❀ ❀ ❀

  2. Hi Kim! You are my blog mom! πŸ™‚ and while you have an important role in your immediate family, please don’t forget your role as stepmom/mom to a much bigger family! I really look up to you. I’m glad you got your head back πŸ™‚

  3. I think that the way you share your process is very inspiring πŸ™‚ Your blog illustrates your ‘process,’ and sometimes a monster shows up, and then you share how you process your experience. If I may add that your writing is also humorous, and I find that appealing. I never feel too secure when providing feedback to others. I know that it is helpful when people let me know what they are observing; observations can ‘say’ as much about the observer as the one observed. Just some thoughts. xx Ka

  4. Hi Kim,

    I am so fascinated by your symbolic process, it really is an honor to witness. I also get a sense that the images you present are from the deepest place within you, and that is rare – and takes some serious courage.

    When I have had strange or “scary” images come up for me, sometimes I can tell that I am dealing with very natural emotions (anger, sadness, etc.) in a very healthy way (through my art), and I feel good about that. Some art has to be raw to be real.

    Other times when scary images come up, I ask myself (courageously and honestly) what my inner dialogue looks like. Could the image reflect any of this inner dialogue?

    I’m with you on the “blogging for transformation” thing. It was totally unexpected for me, too. Any sustained creative practice of spiritual devotion is alchemical in and of itself, don’t you think??? My vision for the future is certainly heading in the direction of championing this idea, so I am so glad to witness it firsthand with you!!

    Love,
    Amanda

    • Oh, Amanda, your words always touch me. What resonated most for me is that you touched on the sense of courage needed for creative endeavors.
      It is scary, and it requires such a sense of honesty to pull out our thoughts and emotions into the physical plane where we and others can observe them.

      your comment about whether the image reflects our own inner dialogue causes me to pause. I would like to carry that with me a bit and see how it resonates for me.

      And, yes, alchemy is such a beautiful word! In its presence, we realize all is possible.

  5. We are all just human (except for narcissistic psychopaths-not sure what they are)…we get tired, frustrated, happy, all of it. The thing about love is, it stays the same through all of our emotions. Family dynamics can be quite the dance…

  6. I relate to everything you said here Kimberly. Funny I just wrote a little about how blogging (writing and reading) has helped me tremendously in my personal growth. Appreciating the synchronicity yet again! πŸ™‚

  7. Kimberly, I love your image of the headless “mom”ster :). We have all been there, done that, I think. Your story is also a good example of how our family’s words, spoken so casually, can hurt so much! We seem to hold everything together and they don’t realize that we need loving tenderness from them, not harsh words.

    • Oh, I love “mom-ster”- Darn! Why didn’t I think of that! I like what you say that we also need tenderness. usually, we are trying to hold everything together so everyone’s needs are met. It is not due to self-serving or selfish motivations.

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