An Equal Measure of Love


The things we do for love.
I found a soccer camp for my stepson to attend this summer. I had seen how much he enjoyed playing pick-up soccer in our neighborhood and thought to myself that this could perhaps give him such much needed confidence.

I contacted the director to make certain they would welcome a child who had never played before. ( I had visions of enrolling him in something that was over his head. A summer camp for 10-year-old mini-professional players or something like that.) The director reassured me that they welcomed all levels.

This information was passed to his Mom as he would be staying with her at that time. And, she signed him up! Often I am the one finding such activities for the children (guitar, piano, tutoring, baseball, flute lessons) while the parents are “confused” as to how I find all of these things and get them done.

I do not know if God (define that as you will) allows me to see some things so I would understand or if it is just fate or whatever. But on the first day of soccer camp, as I was cleaning the kitchen, I glanced out the window and there was my stepson riding his bike -alone- to camp.

Now, mind you, the camp is 2.5 BLOCKS away from our home. 2.5 BLOCKS. As it was his first day and he had never been to a sports camp before, I had visions of his Mom at least walking (driving??) him to camp to make sure he was signed up as expected (we have all had that experience where our registration was “lost”) and to help him get settled and cheer him on.

And…she was not there… at all….

I know he is 10, almost 11, but where is her involvement in his life? Had he been with us, I would have walked him over, chatting along the way, “I am so excited you chose to do this camp. I love experiencing new things and can’t wait to see you experience this. Do you think any of your friends will be there? You may even make some new friends here, what do you think?”

Connecting…feeling…supporting HIM and his life.

Later that day, as my husband was home, I suggested we walk the (apparently grueling) 2.5 blocks to see how my stepson was doing and cheer him on.

He greeted us (and well, also the dog, more so) with a big wave and hugs. He does love an audience, so we witnessed him “showing off” (in a good way) for us.

As I stood there watching him, seeing his joy and happiness, I could not help but send up a prayer “Why God, why would his Mom not come to see this? How can he know he matters when someone ignores his life so much?”

And the answer came, “An equal measure of Love.”

I don’t know how many of you are great cooks. I will go with my assumption that you cook way better than me. But there are recipes ( I believe 🙂 ) that call for equal measures of such things as sugar and flour or something.

And the answer had me thinking about ingredients and how when they are mixed together, the stronger ingredient will overpower the other ingredients – even if they are of an equal measure.

And this is the message I took. An equal measure of Love will always overpower any darkness.

Our love does not need to be over the top and of a huge magnitude. It simply needs to be present.

An equal measure of love overcomes any darkness.

16 thoughts on “An Equal Measure of Love

  1. This one hits home. I have been to all of my sons soccer practice for 10 years now. And yet not one other parent is around watching their kid. Even when I was coaching soccer, parents never came to the practices. Some would show to the games, but it just amazed me SO SAD.

  2. I’ve been a single mom for most of my son’s life and I’ve also been a stepmom for a few years. Your stepson is lucky to have you in his life. No matter how absent his “mother” is in his life, you are proving that you and your husband are there for him.

  3. They need us stepmoms, that’s all I can say. Our intent is always there. It’s tennis session in our house and I have to sit next to bio-mom starting Monday. Throw up a prayer for me if you should think of it… She not the friendliest and I don’t go for her… I go because I love my step daughter and want her to know she matters. Great points! Thanks!

    • I got chills as I read your comment. I had just jotted a note earlier to day- that I have the best of my intentions for my stepchildren. And there you are with the same word. I will most certainly throw a prayer your way. The bio-mom should be so blessed that her daughter has a woman in her life like you- someone who cares enough to love this girl.

  4. Oh Kim, this made me sad….and then so happy. You know how I feel about you….you keep doing what you are doing….send that love to those children. You were put in their life to make up for the lack of parenting….and forget the “step” ….you are more a parent than the one who gave birth! Much love to you ❤

  5. You are definitely called into your stepson’s life to add the Love. He probably doesn’t question the roles that the adults in his life play, but the time will come when he will see from the adult perspective and appreciate the gift of your heart.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s