Back to My Husband

How I Came to Love You

How I Came to Love You

I have been traveling for a bit and returned home last evening.
I seldom travel without my husband and I realized why last evening.

Most people scare me- a lot.

I am one of these who never feels relaxed around others. I feel like most everyone else has a playbook, or at least a well-written pamphlet, on how to engage seamlessly with energy, humor and grace in social interactions.

While this occurs, I stand for the most part silently calculating in my head the number of hours/minutes I must engage and converting such numbers to fractions and percentages because I find math soothing.

During my travels, we began to speak about the best trips we have taken and where we would like to go and so on. I blurted out, “My favorite places are where I go with my husband. He is the only one I really feel comfortable around.”

I thought in that moment how often I reach for my husband in social situations. How I grab onto his hand or arm to feel his solidity and his peace in talking with others. THere is a reason he is in customer service and I am not. (Well, there are several reasons, the fact he is so good with people is one of the primary ones. I have instead been told throughout my life that I should not work with the general public. I would have to agree.)

Some days I do not know if I truly understand marriage and why our society and culture holds this institution in such esteem.

But then I look at my husband and what he means to me and the connection/commitment that marriage both requires and fosters and I come to the realization that, as with many things in life, that there is magic in this institution.

It is not a simple as two people coming together to share a life. There is alchemy in this union. And like all great alchemical processes, the sum ends up being so much greater than the parts.

SO, there is my husband, holder of my heart and so much more.

It feels good to be back in his arms.


21 thoughts on “Back to My Husband

  1. Ahhh, how sweet. I too, am beginning to see some real benefits, some spiritual fruits to be found in the whole institution of marriage.

    I too find math soothing and sometimes do equations in my head. You just know you’re stuck in a highly stimulating social situation when you start reviewing times tables or trying to count by 7’s or something πŸ™‚

  2. Aww, this is so sweet (:
    I am happy for you and extra happy to hear that there is such a thing as “a good marriage”. I always hoped for one, but i wasn’t sure they really exist. Thanks for sharing.
    And I love the colors in this drawing. xoxo

  3. o… so you love math so much — din’t realize that someone may use math to find comfort. We all need a connection such as you share with your husband, I think. The blessings of spiritual growth seem far greater this way. Thanks for your share Kim. I greatly appreciate these insights from your relationships. ~ Eric

  4. How sweet! I am so extremely shy (which doesn’t fit with my personality, I know) but I struggle greatly in social situations! I struggle so much that I gave myself “social anxiety,” because people understand that term better than they do “shy” – or how someone like me can possibly be “shy”. When we go out – I have certain friends that know my struggles and are always looking out for me – like your husband does you – and thank goodness for them! πŸ™‚

  5. Oh, sweet, sweet, sweet! Love is alchemy, I agree. You gave me a guffaw – ‘I have instead been told throughout my life that I should not work with the general public.’ Sounds like somebody I know very well πŸ˜‰ I possess few filters and often speak up without considering the consequences. Can you believe I used to deal with customers in my last job? Luckily, they were mostly kind and wonderful!

  6. Love this. My boyfriends have always been extroverts. I’m hardcore introverted in public – but I really LOVE connecting with people on a deep level, so it’s not so much the talking I mind, more the social graces that I suck at. I hope you know how much I appreciate all the authenticity you bring to every post. Always nice to see some gratitude for a hubby!
    Thanks Kim – xoxoAmanda

  7. Pingback: July 18- Brave Heart Award | april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation

  8. This is one of my favorite posts, the way you talk and live love with your husband is just wonderful! (the moment I was nominating you I forgot you don’t accept awards, it came back to me later, so I am sorry!)

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