My Art are is Me and I am my Art.
We are in a symbiotic relationship.
I simply can’t figure out, though, who is in charge.
There has been a arc-ed spectrum of issues presenting themselves in my art and psyche as of late.
I have gone through a heart stage, a somewhat automatic drawing phase, and a recent animal stage.
Now, if I were to follow my dreams and meditative images, I seem to be heading into a phallic stage. (Please keep your Freudian comments to yourself 🙂 ).
I have wondered what this means. I recently did a piece about the alchemical marriage, and there is the idea within different traditions and studies of the union of the male and female within one’s self. Perhaps that is where this is leading, I am not sure.
One of the reasons for my uncertainty arises from the energetic relationship as a woman with the symbolic/literal phallic image and structure, or male genitalia in general, and what these structures represent energetically to me, as I do not incorporate them within my physical body.
For my last master’s degree, my entire thesis dealt with a woman’s body and what those tissues represent. I had no problem creating art and words relating to the power of the uterus and clitoris.
The penis and phallic images are a completely different story. I actually called a friend and said, “I keep having these dream and images with phallic structures to incorporate into my art. I don’t know what to do- they all just seem so phallic-y.”
I love this friend because she is someone I can call up and say that to and she just rolls with it.
I even searched on-line for penis images in art to see what else had been done. The most striking images were from Bhutan.
I think I want to play with the images and energies of “maleness” and how I observe and relate to them as a woman. But, I also wonder what it is to be male and embody these structures.
In some ways, I feel men have gotten the short end of the stick. I don’t know if the male body is celebrated as it should be. For example, I have often thought the saying associated with yoga – “One more for eternity” would be wonderfully connected to the male reproductive energy of sperm production.
In women I have discussed that a woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have. To me this speaks to the “primordial” power in women. The mirror of that would the incredible regenerative power of male reproduction- millions of sperm each day.
As I have sketched out these phallic images, I have also realized the power inherent in the penis (no pun intended) and masculinity in general. Many women, because of harmful/abusive situations, have been taught to fear men symbolically and literally.
And I am not sure men have been given the opportunity to embrace the energy of maleness in a way that brings out the best of this energy.
So I don’t know where this will all lead. The above picture speaks of sentries in the shape of penises turned to the light trying to become aware.
I guess that is where I am right now. Penises are very powerful symbols, as I am learning, not easily hidden within an image.
What does it mean to embrace this power- artistically and in one’s life?
There is a sense of external expression, an “outward-ness” with an erect penis, that is not as present, in my mind, with female reproduction. For some reason, the penis for me represents an unveiling, a sense of no longer being hidden.
Perhaps that speaks to the external expression of an erect penis, speaking of awakening, engagement, and the desire to penetrate that which remains hidden.