Shame is such a heavy burden. I am not sure we ever understand the cost it extracts from us.
Words can be written, articles can be read, and therapy can be attended and still shame may linger in the shadows. Waiting.
Shame is such a cold, dead feeling. It is at once heavy enough to suppress us, yet it is slippery enough that we can’t get a tangible grip on it to extract it from our Spirits.
I started working on the above picture and saw the emergence in the dark blue/black color a representation of person who is hunched over under the weight of a burden. When I looked at it, I thought, “This is what shame feels like.”
When shame strikes with precision, we literally have problems walking upright.
I started to play with the images emerging more.
Shame in the image is the swirling figures behind the person.
Shame creates chaos and uncertainty in our lives. And like the image shows us- shame is always in our PAST. Shame is related to things behind us. Something in the moment may trigger our sense of shame, but shame is the link to the whirlwind and tornado from our past.
In the image, I showed this tornado pulling at the back of the human figure, trying to pull him or her into the past where the “shame-ful” moment occurred.
In addition, energy is leaking out between the person’s legs and heading to the tornado.
The first chakra, known as the muldhara, is located between the legs. This chakra speaks to our physicality in the world and our basic rights (and trust) in our existence.
Shame grabs and pulls this energy from us. In the image, you can see the bright yellow light (the light of life) draining from the person. This is what shame does. It eats up our light and love of life.
If shame is significant, it can cause us to reflect on our right to be “here”. When we feel badly enough about ourselves, we may question our very right to exist at all.
I won’t go in to why so many feel shame. In part, we are a culture and society (as are many others) that uses shame. But beyond this, many know on the very personal level as to why they feel shame and what was done to them to engender this feeling of shame.
But here is where I take hope- if you look at the picture – you see no swirling chaos in front of the human figure. There is simply whiteness. This is because- and you need to remember this- shame can not happen in the future.
There is NO shame in your future. The future is yet to happen. Before you is the whiteness of potential. Whatever has happened in the past is truly in the past.
Shame only exists in relation to the past. Let it go.
A quick prayer that crosses all cultures and religions when you are going through a transformation is simply this- think of the situation and simply utter in your favorite language:
“It is done. It is done. It is done.”
This simple utterance unties you from the past and allows the energy of potential to enter into the space.
I wish my postings were more linear and consistent in topic. Sorry for the randomness of my blog. I simply write what comes to me, especially in relation to my art and my life. As someone who has struggled so much with shame, I thought others may benefit from this piece also.