The Preemptive Strike by the Narcissist

Can't see You

Can’t see You

**I realize many of you don’t read this blog for insights on narcissism, but some do. When an issue related to narcissism crosses my path, I like to post about it because I have learned so much from others who are willing to write about this topic. **

Narcissists are great at manipulating and creating fantasy worlds. However, even they have their limits.

When their fantasy world is in jeopardy and they realize that despite their BEST efforts that everything is unraveling and the truth is going to come out- they will NOT fess up. Oh, no. They are too good for that.

What they will likely do is issue a preemptive strike to divert you.

If suddenly the narcissist is upset over some issue and you have no idea why it has come up, it is often a preemptive strike to divert your attention from the real mess.

For example, a narcissist may be screaming at you about the $12 you spent on some item, while he or she is secretly emptying your bank account on some ridiculous item or venture.

Normally, the Narcissist will keep everything hidden.

But when he or she is backed into a corner and they know time is running out and the truth will be unveiled, their first thought is the preemptive attack.

They will try to get your thinking, emotions, and heart headed in the opposite direction of the real issue.

Narcissists are the illusionist on the cosmic stage- demanding you look at the wand in the left hand- “Look! Look here!” so your head will be turned away from the other hand.

The preemptive strike- accusing you of something out of nowhere, ranting and raving at some weird concern- is the wand waving.

As your head symbolically and literally turns towards it, as you try to defend yourself or get caught up in the drama, they will use that momentum to pull you away from paying attention to what they are really doing.

Your signal that a preemptive strike is happening is the voice in your head going “I have no idea where this is coming from. Why is this suddenly so important?”

The preemptive strike is a trick used by narcissists everywhere. Use their predictability to your advantage.

When you experience it, be very aware in the coming hours/days that something is going to be revealed. Prepare yourself so you are not caught off guard.

Narcissists may think they are invulnerable, but even they tip their hands. And we learn to see through the illusion.

This blog was originally about double the length. I took out all the personal details surrounding the preemptive strike issued against me by someone with narcissistic behaviors.

However, I am writing this now because I have a firm belief (even it if is silly) that our words matter and that by physically writing something, we are staking it out in the universe with power.

And these are my words to her- ” I am on to you and why you did what you did. I am an adult, however, who lives a full and gracious life. Your perceived power over me is nothing but your self-created illusion.”

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10 thoughts on “The Preemptive Strike by the Narcissist

  1. A great post, and I especially respect your final words. We all should have those printed on a prompt card to flash at any narcissist that treats us this way. As you suggest, any interaction with a narcissist is about power and control (whether or not we realise it at the time).

    • thank you Kate. FOr me personally, the pain would be so much less if children were not involved. I.e. I can handle her on my own. What is difficult is finding the insight/awareness to ferry my stepchildren through this minefield.

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