How a UPS delivery man showed me: God’s Love or The Darkness, I can Choose

Janus Tree

Janus Tree

I get to choose and so do you each and every day. Will I follow the light of God’s Love (however you define that to be) or suffer in the darkness of anger and pain?

Yesterday, I was presented this beautiful choice so clearly.

As I posted yesterday, I had a revelation about being a stepmom and my sense of mothering.

This awareness was one of the largest changes I had sensed in some time. I was just getting used to the feeling of it and appreciating everyone’s support after I had posted the blog.

Still in my haze of love, I heard the UPS man on our porch and ran out to the get the package. He looked up at me and said, “You surprised me. No one is usually home. ” And I said, “It’s just a strange day. I am lucky to be home so early.”

As I turned to walk inside, what he said next stopped me in my tracks. He called out to me as he got into this truck, “Well, have a great Mother’s Day this weekend.”

Someone said this to me, Kim Harding. Biologically, mother to no one. In her heart though, learning to be mother to two stepchildren.

Over the years, hardly anyone has acknowledged Mother’s day for me. ANd here was a UPS man (a deliverer from God in my mind that day) wishing me the sentiments to further ground my new found awareness in myself as a mother.

God will use any means to give us signs and symbols along our journeys. The symbolism of a UPS delivery man is not lost on me. (He is going to be getting a nice thank you note, Sbucks card from me, that is for sure!)

So that was my morning. Later I had to hurry to go pick up my stepdaughter from school. She is with her Mom these weeks, but I wanted to celebrate her last day of school before a big school trip the next week. She was really excited.

When I picked her up, I asked her where she wanted to go. She hemmed and hawed. Finally, I said, let’s go the mall (we have a very small one in town). We never do that. She didn’t say much. I pulled into the mall, first one parking spot wouldn’t work and then another wouldn’t ( I have no ability park in tight quarters.) Finally, we were set.

Before I could put the car in park, she looked at me and said, “Oh my Mom and brother may be here getting their hair cut.”

I paused and I said, “Well, maybe we should not go here. I think your Mom hates me and would prefer not to see me. This is about us, so let’s go somewhere else.”

She looked at me and said, “Yeah. Let’s go somewhere else.”

I do not know why I used the word “hate” in my statement, except that is was probably energetically true. It saddened me (not for me, but for her) that my stepdaughter did not counter my word choice. Not that I expected her to, but it was a shocking awareness that her Mom has made it quite clear that she hates me.

Her Mom may feel this gives her some power over me or something, but it does not. My life continues on as it does, whether my stepchildren’s mother likes me, loves me or hates me.

What I am most struck with is what a horrible thing to teach a child- to hate someone. We only have one opportunity to raise “our” children. Hate should never be part of the lesson.

As for me, I saw within a 4 hour span, how I can choose the messages I receive. I chose to see God’s love for me and God’s support of what I try to do as a stepmother- delivered to me by a UPS delivery man.

And I will choose to see that hate has no place in my life or relationships.

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7 thoughts on “How a UPS delivery man showed me: God’s Love or The Darkness, I can Choose

  1. Hi Kim….I love this art piece; it is beautiful and powerful. I also love this post. I was a step-mom for several years before I was a mom; and like you, I did it under very difficult circumstances. I had so much fun with that little girl. It taught me that I could be a good mother. But it was like walking on a razor blade! I wanted her to feel that she could talk about the other household without feeling that we were “spying” on her mom. I wanted her to feel that I loved her without making her feel that she was being disloyal to her mom if she had strong feelings for me. It sounds like you have a solid relationship with your step-kids and I love that the “God” sent you a message through the UPS!! I found it helpful with my step-daughter to offer comments that would acknowledge and maybe diffuse the strong negative feelings between her parents, like “there can be a lot of angry feelings between parents after they separate…” Good luck with it….and Happy Mother’s Day!! Kim

    • Your comment of “walking on razor blades” was one of the best comments I have ever heard about stepparenting. I can relate to the situations you outlined here so well. We all walk our paths, but boy, I wish someone would remove the razor blades on the stepparenting trail 🙂

  2. Bio mom or not, you are LOVE! Love expands, hate contracts. I pity the narcissistic mom in the living hell of her own creation. May she wake up one day. In the meantime, let Love expand you. Happy MOTHER’s Day to YOU! 🙂

  3. It takes something really special to raise another woman’s children…I am in awe of those who do it with such love and value building the special relationship. I have never been the step-mother…after experiencing watching my own mother adopt 5 children and raise them to adulthood, The empathy hurt so much…Many prayers and blessings to you for being a Mom! AoA

  4. The only important thing is if you had a good time with your step-daughter after you left the mall. If you did – then it doesn’t really matter what the other lady thinks.

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