To Love and Protect



To Love or Protect one’s self- how many have made this choice?

I was reading a book the other day ( I can’t remember which) and the author spoke about our basic needs. He stated that for children, particularly, protection is a need as great as love.

Of course, if you truly love someone, it goes without saying that you would also want to protect him or her.

But, here is the problem, I think many people have been, or are in, situations in which they are being told they are “loved” but they are not protected.

Child or adult, there are those who suffer an onslaught of abuse in physical, emotional, and psychological terms, all the while being fed the mantra, “I do this because I love you.”

And there they stand giving up all sense of protection in order to earn some “love”.

In fact, many have been trained to go against every God-given protective instinct- to stand and be hit, to stand and be verbally attacked, to stand and submit–all to earn some “love”.

And how many of us as adults have learned this training so well that we have given up a sense of protection in the so-called name of “love”?

Some will give up protecting their assets (home, money, and more) and give to others so freely as to cause their own self harm. Others never learned to protect their own sense of value, and thus allow anyone to step over, through, in and around them. Some have never thought of a verbally-protecting phrase or two to be called upon in a moment of threat.

Too many are the walking wounded because of one simple fact- they were taught “to love”, but never taught to protect.

What may be true for children may also stand the test of being an adult.

To love is to protect. If those who claim they “love” you do not also protect you, it really is not love at all.

10 thoughts on “To Love and Protect

  1. This is such a wonderful post! I think you and I have a lot in common 🙂 I also put everyone else first, and I don’t know how to protect myself at all! I mean, I am completely incapable of it! I keep getting hurt all the time, but seem to never learn that lesson of self-guard. Everyone talks about giving and loving, which of course we should all do in abundance! But then you have those sensitive souls who have learned that lesson of giving a long time ago, and who actually needs to learn to receive and ask.

  2. The whole point to studies of need was to discover how successful people met their needs… Maslow was a mess but when this became his focus, he attained self-esteem and success. He worked to be a genius… I always say we ought to have parenting skill training from pre-school onward. People were intended by our Creator to be self-actualized before birthing children; I think.

    • I really, really love this comment. I love the idea of helping people with parenting skill training from pre-school onward. It would be so helpful with age-appropriate content to speak about parenting, rather than hoping people will figure it out. Definitely agree with the last statement!! (I do not know the history of Maslow, so will have to look into it. I always like learning new things. )

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