You may wonder if any blessings are present in your life. You may look at your life, in its current condition, and sense fear, failure, frustration and more. And you will wonder if there is hope, somewhere, standing out side your door.
And then you will remember, because you can’t forget this completely, that the blessing is simply this-
One moment leads to the next.
Right here, right now, this moment is already budding forth the new.
One moment to the next, and All is once again anew with hope and potential.
I did this piece of art work last night. When I lecture in microbiology, there is one slide that shows yeast cells budding. And I think to myself, this is what each new moment in our life is like. It buds off of the earlier moment, but each moment is its own “cell” filled with potential.
Sometimes your art will outpace your life. It was prophetic that I did this art piece early last evening as I had an interaction with my stepdaughter.
We had accommodated her all weekend. She had friends over all evening Friday to work on a school project, again some on Saturday. I have to babysit my stepkids today and my stepdaughter began “directing” me that she would need her friends over again today.
I was firm but gentle, saying that was fine but only for 2-3 hours. We do not have a large house, and she and her friends had taken over for 2 days, A portion of the 3rd day would have to be enough. Of course she began screaming about this.
And I said to her, “Wait. You are not even noticing the blessings. We had your friends over for 2 days. We fed them several times. We bought you all of these supplies. And we will allow them to come over tomorrow but not all day.”
I continued, “You are missing the blessings of what you have been given and you choose to focus on your suffering.”
And I said, “Who is responsible for this sense of suffering you feel?”
And she looked up at me and said clearly, “You are, Kim.”
To say this did not hurt would be a lie. And I try not to lie to myself as much anymore. I give and give and give to these children, yet, still can be labeled by my stepdaughter, in particular, as the cause of her suffering.
If I am to continue with my honesty, this does not surprise me. Her mother is a narcissist, so what am I to expect with my teenage stepdaughter?
I realize all teenagers can be strongly self-centered and such so I also know it is her age. But, sometimes it all gets a little tiring.
So I write and I think and I create. And I tell myself, the next moment is the blessing and contained therein is the beauty I am seeking. 🙂