Spirit
Tough situation last evening. Stepchildren, lies, and unsupportive parenting. How many times had I been in this situation? How many times was I going to stand in kitchen (it always seems to be the kitchen) and cajole, reprimand, teach and more? How many times am I to leave my own ego at the door as I try to instruct, teach, lead these children into a different understanding?
Not my responsibility- or so I have been told. Yet, I see things happening that I can not ignore. A stepdaughter who sees someone on TV with a strong cleft in his chin and utters, “Oh, that is gross!”, a stepson at the ripe old age of ten who declares that he doesn’t need to do well in school because he has dyslexia, a stepdaughter who takes my package from the porch and in the chaos with friends leaves it sitting out in our front yard and boldly claims “I made a mistake”. All this and more.
And I have sat on the fence, wondering why I respond as I do and then I read a bit in a book or two and suddenly it all made sense.
The Spirit presents two faces- one that never compromises and one that never quits.
So, I will not compromise when my stepdaughter says someone’s (anyone’s!!) appearance is “gross”. I will call her out on such thinking before the next moment even thinks of passing. I will challenge my stepson and his tales to let himself off the hook.
My Spirit, and yours, does not compromise. Remember this. The next time you are wondering why you care, why you involves yourself, remember your Spirit never compromises. When it witnesses something is amiss, it will speak up – always. And thank God for such acts of courage by our strong Spirits.
But, your Spirit, and mine, also never quits. My aware Spirit opens my arms to my stepkids again and again, not it naive self-sacrifice, but rather out of its sense of what is right. My Spirit, and yours, knows especially with children, that second chances are a must.
If you ever find yourself in doubt and wondering how you can go on, take heart and know that you have a Spirit that never compromises.
Soul Healing Art 
Second and third and more chances should be offered. I feel very fortunate that other peoples Spirits never quit and never gave up on my – and others deserve the same from me! It’s not always easy, but it’s worth the battle to me!
Of course- second, third, fourth and more!! are needed with children. I do think that one gift to give a child is the sense that you will never, ever give up on them. 🙂
Just when I think it couldn’t get any worse, I get a inspiration from you. Thank you.
Bless you.
You sound as if you are so committed to your stepchildren that it is as if you birthed them. You are driven as all mothers are and that is we can’t give up, especially when it comes to our children. In the midst of all the lies and lack of support, you will push pass the “step” and so will they. It will continue to get hard at times, but don’t give in and don’t give up! Let your Spirit lead you….
Your words mean so much to me. As a stepmom, I am always wondering if I am missing something. I wonder if I don’t have the innate skills that biological mothers have. I like what you write about being “driven as all mothers”. That is such an apt phrase. We do become driven. We so want to help and support, while we have the time with them to do so. I love the idea of pushing past the “step”. And, yes, I am letting my Spirit lead me and it has been such a transformative process. 🙂
This makes my heart glad! 🙂
Someone has to trust in God enough, to be used as a channel of His Will… even when it makes my knees shake. * heart*
Love it. Yes, we do need to trust enough!
Kim….you and me both.
I’m in the exact situation now. Sigh….kids. Especially when they’re your spouses!
It is so very, very difficult, isn’t it?? Nothing has pushed me (on ALL levels) like being a stepparent. I so wish you well. I tend to vacillate between hope and despair on most days 🙂 I also strategize, strategize, strategize…often to no avail:) You know I am pulling for you!! and your stepson!:) He is lucky to have you
How is your hubs in way of support.
Some days he is awesome. Other days he wants me to be quiet, because he wants to be in denial. That is so very unfair to me, because wouldn’t we all like to live in denial?? 🙂
Mine is the same way.
Today, another incident at school. He doesn’t have anger issues at home. He’s very controlled.
Boggles my mind how he is so quick to lose it at school…then make excuses for his bad behavior.
I know what you mean!! It’s only Oct. and my stepson is a bit off the rails in school 😦 He is such a loving, enjoyable person and it all falls apart on him. You know that I wish you well. He is so lucky to have your heart in his life.
Thank you Kim.
I feel different about it when his father gets frustrated with my lack of understanding about the Autism.
Yes, only October. Sigh.
Right there with you, Sister!!! The panic I feel – 8 more months of school remaining!!! Good luck:)