The Beautiful Power When One Loves Another

All girls love their mothers.
The reverse is not necessarily true.
A young girl approaching her fifth decade- the wounded are always young- enacts her drama as if yesterday were today.
Life not envisioned with clarity, seen through the astigmatism of memories.
The young are not made for living lives of pain. Pain, the great disregarder, knows not of chronological boundaries.
The wound becomes the dance, playing with spirit and heart, the whirling dervish of the soul captures and heals.
Her soul sisters link her hands and pull, pull, pull.
They are her sisters whispering of her new birth.

I wrote this in honor of my stepdaughter. She hosted a party at our home yesterday. I was SO PROUD of her!! She had a wonderful day planned for eleven 12-year old girls. It went off without a hitch. She was a kind, gracious host, and I hope I can do as well at my next dinner party. This day was not ours to “have” her. She was scheduled to be at her Mom’s, but her Mom was busy, so we held this party.

And, then the party came to an end. My stepdaughter phoned her Mom to ask if some of the girls could spend the night at her home. She was told “No”. My husband then called my stepdaughter’s Mom. With eloquence, he said he would be willing to have the girls spend the night at our home, but he wanted to support her Mom. And, he was told “No”. It would not work with Mom’s plan for the following day (selling toffee, during which she expected my stepdaughter’s attendance).

My stepdaughter tried again- a friend, now, invited my stepdaughter to spend the night with her. My stepdaughter called her Mom. Now, she was really excited. She was not going to be bothering her Mom, and her Dad would not be getting more brownie points by hosting the girls overnight. My stepdaughter thought she had it in the bag. She called her Mom, spoke her request. And her Mom, her Mom, hung up on her. She felt there was nothing to be said to her 12 year old daughter- the one with the simple request.

One should never hang up on a 12-year old. Never.

But, my stepdaughter’s friends rallied. The hugged her, they said it would be o.k.. So importantly, they made my stepdaughter feel loved and wanted. They are her means to rebirth. They show her understanding that SHE is important and to be valued. The knowledge that her needs are important enough to be considered. They wanted to spend time with my stepdaughter and they wanted to make it work for her. For someone who has struggled socially, like my stepdaughter, this was such a gift. And my heart thanks these girls.

6 thoughts on “The Beautiful Power When One Loves Another

  1. Such a shame! But it will certainly help her to understand that her friends will hold her up. Kids are under our influence for such a short time. One day her mother will be very confused as to why her daughter chooses to spend time with others instead of her.

    • Yes, it is so painful to see a young girl trying to connect with her mother and not having the care returned. I do feel we are all presented with many wonderful opportunities in our lives, and I am hoping for my stepdaughter that her friendships prove to be a wonderful gift for her.

  2. Those poignant moments, the eternal hope of a child to feel the love and acceptance of a parent. You’ve written so beautifully to capture the image of the girls rallying around to protect her feelings. Just curious, how many of them have parents who are divorced? I’m seeing in my youngest SS that it’s become the “norm” and so many of the things that seemed like traumas when he was younger and less out in the world with friends, he’s now getting a chance to talk about in a shared-experience kind of way. I think it’s been good for him.

    • Hi Kim,
      I don’t think most of the girls come from divorced families, but I do understand what you are saying. it does seem to be more common, and people are more open to discussing things. I was just happy that my stepdaughter was able to experience such a great group of people wanting to spend time with her πŸ™‚ She deserves it!

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