We are all familiar with the myth of Narcissist falling in love with his reflection. Self-reflection is an interesting act for narcissists. Although most to of us enjoy it when others agree with our self-reflection (that is others see us in a similar light, as we see ourselves), for a Narcissist this become a struggle of almost life-and-death intensity. To a Narcissist, YOU MUST believe in his or her own self-created identity.
That is the only option. Pity you, if you are fool enough to attempt in any way to counter this self-created fantasy. There is no negotiation, compromise, offers to hear a different perspective- because these things do not exist to a Narcissist. In fact, you could have VOLUMES of evidentiary materials that counter the Narcissist’s view, but still it will not matter. This evidence could include the Narcissist’s own words and actions, but they, if it is convenient to the Narcissist, will be dismissed as a lack of understanding on YOUR part. The self-constructed “reality” of a Narcissist is all that exists in a Narcissist’s mind, and they will protect this creation as if it were a life and death struggle.
If you become too forthright in your accusations (or even kind statements) that the Narcissist’s reality may be a little “off kilter”- you will be dismissed from the kingdom. For something a Narcissist can not stand, that despite hours symbolically gazing at their own reflection, they can not stand the thought of any one’s eyes truly peering upon them.
Narcissists want to engage in self-reflection, of which you are to agree wtih whole-heartedly. An objective, witnessing gaze is NOT what the narcissist is seeking. Such a gaze has absolutely no relevance to the Narcissist, nor do most Narcissists have any ability to integrate such vision, given how full they are with their own created version.
For those of us who are not narcissists, this is very difficult to understand. We think if we are honest, forthright, and realistic, then surely, surely the narcissist will “understand” a different perspective or view. No. The narcissit has only gaze, whether this gaze contains any semblence of reality for the rest of us or not, does not matter to the narcissist.
Above is a picture of a Narcissist, gazing longing in her mirror. Her only fear is the eyes outside of her, that may actually see.