If you want life to change your life, quit asking “Why?”
I have a wise friend, who is also a therapist, and she once pointed out to me how futile it is to keep asking “Why” about life. No one knows “Why?” Better questions to ask if you are ever stuck and wanting to change your life are simply “When” or “How”- these at least point you in the direction of action. “Why” creates an endless loop.
“Why Not?”
If I could advise one thing,
my gentle friend,
to ease the pain of the living-
ever slightly-
It would be to pull back
the tight restraints
of linear courtship with
facts, figures, cause and effect.
And I would beg and I would request that
You stop asking “Why?”
Within everything lies its
Opposite;
If we pause to ask “Why?”,
we must prepare for the Echo
of “Why not?”
And that, I assure you, my dear friend,
even God can not answer.
God gives us answers, not in ways,
Mysterious,
but rather the way of means.
When trialed, my gentle friend,
choices present, but not in the form
of “Why?” and certainly not in its
corollary “Why not?”.
To which,I say again, even God
can not answer.
Rather, my gentle friend,
Ask “How” or “When” or “What”,
For these befriend their opposites.
When life goads you to action,
Balanced before you, your choices lay
How and How Not
When and When Not
What and What Not
Then, you will decide, my dear friend.
And life will move, as it always does,
And you will move with it,
Not against it.
Amen.







Absolutely! Minfulness is in doing something, not worrying about the whys and the consequences of doing or not doing. Why just holds us back.
Hi! Thanks for the comment. I am so glad my posting made some sense
So true! I have found I spin my wheels the most when I ask Why. When I get past Why and focus on How, When and What, I get so much further!
yes! So do I. I think my friend’s advice was so accurate.
wonderfully true!
thanks!!! It just leads us into a futile loop:)
Such a good point. (I often do it!)