When You Try SO HARD to get someone to love you…and they CAN NOT
Some people simply can not love and that is all we need to know to walk away and create love with someone who matters.
“Refusing to See…”
I thought…the first mistake.
Thought led to action…and now there were two.
I thought I could create the love I
needed to feel from you.
Earn it, produce it, conjure it, market it, form it and compose it.
Loving enough, special enough, deserving enough, self-less enough, gracious enough, and powerful enough.
Tireless, optimistic, hopeful, hard-working, diligent, and dogged.
I would create love for us both.
I would be God and Adam to your Eve,
with the rawest materials wrenched from me.
I did not.
Until I found myself on my knees
begging in that kitchen one evening.
The tiles pushing upwards to counter
my spiral downwards.
Your palms in my hand as if
I could return you to the inside of me.
The ache in my side told me otherwise.
I had pulled rib and more playing God.
Eve became the catalyst in the garden,
and you became mine.
The apple I have tasted is bitter, too
poisonous to swallow.
For years I had a grimace upon my face
as I tried to force it back through
the throat’s folds,
But I simply regurgitate.
Fault so easy to lay across our barren land.
I thought…I thought…I thought…
But you can not love me and you never could.
The gates of my garden, in gracious sympathy,
close. I imagine myself, again, as Eve-
someone with a choice
and that is all the blessing I need.