When Narcissists Go Old School and Play Hide and Seek- And Even that, They Get Wrong
Many of us have fond memories of being a child and playing hide and seek. For narcissists, the game never ends. In a narcissist’s mind, hide and seek is a fun even into middle age and beyond!
One of the primary ways to create drama in life is to hide information. As narcissists love drama (it’s quite simply how they survive), it’s not a great intellectual leap to understand narcissists hide information.
When you interact with a narcissist, you know you are not getting the whole story. They will withhold, hide, bury, transform, mutilate, destroy information, all with the intent and purpose of engaging you and creating drama. Think about it- when you don’t have the whole story, you can’t make good decisions, you can’t be reasonable, you can’t understand the situation, and you feel confused.
Most recently, my husbands ex-wife sent an e-mail on a Friday afternoon stating her “preference” would be the my husband begin paying huge amounts of child support- immediately. This was not mandated by the court in any way. She was playing the pity card, writing that she was now having to live on her savings.
Want to know the secret we have since learned? AS SHE WAS SENDING THAT E-MAIL ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT, SHE WAS ACTUALLY PACKING HER BAGS TO TAKE A TRIP THE FOLLOWING WEEK TO TRAIN FOR A NEW JOB. Do you think she managed to mention that little fact, while she was cue-ing the violins and creating her pity party?
Yeppers, you read that correctly. She is requesting more money, while NEVER ONCE mentioning in 3 days all this could change because she may be getting a job. If you are at all surprised, you do not have your “Narcissistic Thinking Cap” on. This is Narcissism 101- “what can I get for myself and how can I manipulate everyone to get it”.
This is not the first time we have seen the “hide and seek” ploy. Early on in this process, my husband’s attorney asked my husband’s ex-wife for some documentation. Perfectly legal, perfectly within the law, and perfectly understandable. My husband’s ex-wife’s response was she would send the documents but could she black-out the parts she did not want him to see?
Oh, that’s right. The entire legal DISCOVERY PROCESS is based on the exchange of blacked-out documents. What is next? When everyone is bored with that, do we begin to use invisible ink and magic decoder rings?
My husband’s ex-wife thinks she playing some stunning game of hide and seek. And she is LOVING the drama of her self-created game. The joke is on her though.
Rather than the wizard of the game, she is like the child playing peek-a-boo. Despite her self-created and (probably self-congratulated) information “sorcery”- we can see her quite clearly. And like all games that you repeat with a child, it is all getting a little boring.
At the end of the day, it’s not the narcissist who is hiding and can’t be found. We see them quite clearly. What is really lost in the shuffle of the hide and seek is that the narcissist can not see us. They never could and never will be able to see anything but themselves.