Healing Your Heart Between Anger and Forgiveness
Anger and Forgiveness
Guilt threatens companionship.
I created this picture to represent how we can feel our hearts and spirits are pulled in two directions. The picture is not “clean” and its a bit chaotic, as this is how it feels when we are stuck between two states. In the poem I speak about the pull between anger and forgiveness. Sometimes we are “blessed” with difficult people in our lives. In our hearts, we want to forgive and understand them. We want to heal them, show them love. But, by doing this, we end up off-center, chaotic. A large part of us wants the love and understanding that we are showing to be returned to us.
This is a reasonable expectation, except some people are incapable of valuing us in this way. We then set up an internal struggle- we want to love and forgive, yet at the same time we feel so angry at how we are being treated. We want to demand another way. And we feel trapped in between the two states.
Guilt may then arise. We feel guilty if we forgive, because now we haven’t valued ourselves. Guilty if we express anger, because we want to be a better person than this. Reading some people’s blogs about narcissism, by Paula
made me realize how common this in-between state is, especially when dealing with a narcissist in your life. I also thought of a wonderful piece about appropriate anger that I had read
Growth arises through tension. And, by allowing ourselves to feel the anger, the forgiveness, and the perhaps the guilt, we enter the flames of transformation. We are not existing as blind reactors to life, but rather, by allowing ourselves to feel and process, we reach a new state of awareness. Maybe anger is appropriate, maybe forgiveness, maybe neither. Whatever the state may be, we can treat ourselves, our feelings, and our hopes with the respect and compassion they deserve.